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Song Parodies -> "No Skill As a Snitch"

Original Song Title:

"We Still in This Bitch"

Original Performer:

B.o.B ft. T.I. & Juicy J

Parody Song Title:

"No Skill As a Snitch"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

"I'll find out what those no-good no-gooders are doing, sir!" [two hours later] "IIIIIIIII've got nothin'..."
Ah, bollocks

'Fraid I've got no revealin' shit (revealin' shit)
Zero juicy buzz, no spillin' shit (no spillin' shit)
Go 'head and cut me down (down)
I'm no use for you now (no use for you now)
The one tip I have, though (I have failed it):
I've no skill as a snitch (yeah)
No skill as a (skill as a)
No skill as a snitch (yeah)
No skill as a (snitch)
No skill as a snitch (you can kick me out) (out)
No skill as a (can't serve your cause right now) (now)
No skill as a snitch (cause I've found nothin' out) (out)
No skill as a snitch (I'm a bit of a joke, ay)
I've no skill as a snitch (yeah)

I screwed up, screwed up, screwed up, how'd I think that I'd get clued up?
I'm so useless as a sleuther that I've never tried to boot up
A game of Ace Attorney, to the next case I can't move up
I can't track hidden connections and so when I tried to snoop up over there (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey)
I-I thought that the folks you asked me (yeah) to look at would stick (yeah)
To the standard spots (yeah) that these people go (yeah)
So routine they can't spot snitches in their clique
What did I find (what did I find)? They found the snitch (they found the snitch)
Knew they were seein' me (knew they were seein' me), wasn't foolin' shit (wasn't foolin' shit)
S-S-So when I showed up at all their digs (yeah)
With my trenchcoat and sunglasses thick (yeah)
Yeah, I stood out like a bright light (yeah)
I found out nothin', ain't tell me shit (no)
I tried to go (yo) all ninja, though (yo)
It wasn't dark (yo), not hard to spot
Got no skill there as a snitch, stop me now, send me home (yeah)

I found zero revealin' shit (revealin' shit)
I don't have the stuff to discipline (to discipline)
Those little hoodlums now (now)
Jack-all is what I've found (zilch is what I've found)
Just one thing that I know:
I've no skill as a snitch (yeah)
No skill as a (skill as a)
No skill as a snitch (yeah)
No skill as a (snitch)
No skill as a snitch (no dirt on them now) (now)
No skill as a (they're saints? No way, no how) (how)
No skill as a snitch (there's no need for that doubt) (doubt) (I'm plain crap, mister)
No skill as a snitch (the fact is, I'm a joke, ay) (yeah)
I've no skill as a snitch (yeah)

Light bulb clicked: can't sneak on sight, how 'bout I sneak on their sites?
Just search on Twitter for 'em, then I'll find out quickly which one's takin' bribes
Or takin' dives at their best sport, they will lay (ay) out their lives
They may not tell my face directly, but still I'll (ay) know all, right?
If life were fair, zero jerkin' those who dare to be workin'
Cause their feeds were close to perfect, just had the occasional cursin'
Didn't follow, brain's not empty, one can't stalk that way, ain't friendly
To find out that brand new follower's just there to gain some entry
I may be a no-good snitch, I-I still have standards with this
And it's just DM's that I don't get, with my way-low skill as a snitch, yuh
Know I'd fall hard as balls when tryna be subtle askin' for deets (ay)
But since I still have jack for thee, the tricks I know don't do that much for me, ay

Still found zero revealin' shit (revealin' shit)
They won't spill stuff on the Internet (the Internet)
I thought I'd had 'em now (now)
Bupkis is what I found (zilch is what I've found)
The one truth that I know (woo):
I've no skill as a snitch (yeah)
No skill as a (skill as a)
No skill as a snitch (yeah)
No skill as a (snitch)
No skill as a snitch (just got mothballs now) (now)
No skill as a (they're guilty, but I've found) (found)
No skill as a snitch (nothin' for or 'gainst doubt) (doubt)
No skill as a snitch (it's still plain I'm a joke, ay) (screwed up)
I've no skill as a snitch (yuh) (yeah)

"Integrate me in their club"? Know what you'd be thinkin'
All decent snitches (all decent snitches)
Act like they're chillin' (act like they're chillin')
With those who have the information that they want, so of course I tried
Though that adjective "decent" is nonsense and so I failed that, damn right
Don't know me from my stalkin', both real and on the Internet, honest
But still I know near nothin' when it comes to proper talkin' (damn)
With new people like I'm pals, never had friends, my rationale
Who'd share their locale with me, who has the morale
Low enough to leak their stuff to those who would pay me?
I don't know why I'm tellin' you, an instinct by now when folks hate me
I spin a bullshit tale of sadness, they'll stop it with information
"Does that work out?" Once did, now hugs is all that I rake in (bitchin')

Said I've got no revealin' shit (revealin' shit)
Must go, said my stuff, no reason, it's (no reason, it's)
Not like I said "none found" (found)
To hide my slackness now (hide my slackness now)
Hell, that's more proof, you know
I've no skill as a snitch (yeah)
No skill as a (skill as a)
No skill as a snitch (yeah)
No skill as a (snitch)
No skill as a snitch (that's my report now) (now)
No skill as a (might've done nothin', wow) (wow)
No skill as a snitch (so please can I get out?) (out)
No skill as a snitch (made it clear I'm a joke, ay)
I've no skill as a snitch (yeah)

Certainly he's no golden snitch...

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