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Song Parodies -> "Wolfsbane"

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The Lyrics

Part of my "Don't Stop The Pop" self-challenge. For this parody, "wolfsbane" is used in the Harry Potter sense, in that it's a potion that grants the drinker his/her original mind in werewolf form. And "twazzock" rhymes with a popular gay slur and is British slang for a fool. With that said, enjoy my first-ever werewolf parody!
Oh crap, I'm out of wolfsbane
So tonight I will painfully morph
I suggest that you should leave right now
Leave right now, leave right now
I should've bought more wolfsbane
One canine bite now I tear through walls
Could you run and find more potion now
Help me now, 'fore I howl

Oh, I can feel the fur comin' out, I hate the itch
Wish I had never run into that furry bitch
Who bit me on the tender bits, pain's lastin', stop laughin'!
It hurt like shit, all I ask for's compassion
Claws comin' out my fingertips, You want a slashin'?
Then you'd be a were yourself, you want that shit?
Lycanthropisin' really hurts, be a pal
Go find someone who has wolfsbane potion then come back
And quick, soon I'll completely transform
If you don't think you can make it, lock the doors
I feel the pads formin' upon my hands
And the new muscles tearin' my new pants
So wolfsbane, wolfsbane, get some post haste
I can't be late for another date
Haven't told her yet 'bout my freaky plight
Don't stand there like a twazzock, cause I don't have all night!

I need a shot of wolfsbane
Quick, before I unwillingly morph (I will morph)
Damn, this fur is really itching now
Help me now, move it now
If I don't get that wolfsbane
I will rampage starting with you, dork (yes, you, dork)
So could you pick up the pace right now
Need it now, 'fore I howl

Ow, ow, I see my nose in front of my face
It's not my normal shnozz, that joke is so lame
Can you not see the real sharp teeth the nose came with, mate?
The growls you're hearin' aren't somethin' that I can now fake
You think my shirt is tearin' for the hell of it?
You'd think the claws would be quite enough evidence
That you should stop being a twit, get me some friggin' wolfsbane
Move quickly please, buddy, cause I'm not feelin' great
I feel another split, think I'm formin' my tail
So could you please move faster than a high-as-balls snail?
Why are you standing there, I can't afford delays
I've been this way for years, still not used to the pain
So move your arse, you git, have you got a death wish?
Are you the kind of person who gets off on this?
Well, that's just grand, but still I have to say
Don't care about your fetishes, just get some wolfsbane!

Might be too late for wolfsbane
Cause you stood there with your unhinged jaw (open jaw)
Transformation should be finished now
Werewolf now, you're boned now
Instead of getting wolfsbane
You just stood there, is your brain just flawed? (brain is flawed)
Guess I'll have to tear your face off now
Face off now, then I'll howl

I just turned into a werewolf now (oh, oh-oh oh)
I-I-I've a hunger for some raw steak now
Right, right, right in my jaws (oh, oh... oh)
I-I-I'm gonna thank you for your "help" right now
You twit, you're "it" right now

Seriously, 434 parodies and none of them werewolf-related? That's just bizarre.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Matthias - September 28, 2013 - Report this comment
Perfect parody to read at the end of September because Halloween is right around the corner!
Max Power - September 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Howling at the wrong moon aren't ya? Or was it the right one?
Blaydeman - October 02, 2013 - Report this comment
(SOTM) There were a lot of pacing misteps that really hung me up in this one. Not one of your cleanest written, but still fun and enjoyable.
Glen S - October 03, 2013 - Report this comment
Very timely given the upcoming Halloween fun. Good job through out, and well done incorporating the words 'shnozz', 'twazzock', and 'Lycanthropisin'
Abbott Skelding - October 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Pretty interesting topic, and it's probably best that you just used the wolfsbane pretty generically (ie: No more Harry Potter references) because I would have been completely lost. This was a really fun read, nice work!

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