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Song Parodies -> "Drunk On Gloves"

Original Song Title:

"Drunk In Love"

Original Performer:

Beyonce

Parody Song Title:

"Drunk On Gloves"

Parody Written by:

Dylan Baranski

The Lyrics

Yet another request from the great Robert D. Arndt. Jr. Enjoy the parody! DKTOS? (NSFW)
I’ve been blending, I’ve been blending,
I get feisty when that fabric get into me.
I’ve been trending, I’ve been trending,
Why can’t I keep my fingers in ‘em, baby?
I want ‘em, na na.
Why can’t I keep my fingers in ‘em, baby?
I want ‘em, na na.

Kevlar’s so nice, Kevlar’s so nice,
Feelin’ like a hand grenade,
I thought my drink was lemonade.
Black-and-whites, black-and-whites,
They got me runnin’, runnin’, runnin’.
Baby, I’m wanted, na na.
Can’t pry my hands from this Uzi.
Baby, I want ‘em, na na.
Drunk on gloves, I want ‘em.

I woke up in an alley saying,
“How in hell did this crap happen?”
Oh baby, drunk on gloves I was all night.
Last thing I remember is my
Beautiful psyche taking me to Studio.
Drunk on gloves.

I was all night, gloves, gloves.
I was all night, gloves, gloves.

I was all night, but some things weren’t all right.
Some complaints with the bouncers, prepubescent they were acting.
I was drinkin’, walkin’ in like Sammy Hagar.
Was jumpin’ on it, jump-jumpin’ on it, Sugarhill, call an Apache.
I was drinkin’, get my facts straight,
Ah-nold and I, we terminate.
Genesis, Turn It On Again, Sonic the Hedgehog,
I was drinkin’, was Rollin’ in the Deep like Titanic.
Then I head out for a Popeye’s, I’m so Hungry Like the Wolf,
The Wolf, The Wolf.
Groening like the Matt, Groening, Groening like the Matt.
I’m swervin’ like a, swervin’, swervin’ like a C-body Dodge.
Surfin’ US, eh? Surfin’ this Safari.

I woke up in an alley saying,
“How in hell did this crap happen?”
Oh baby, drunk on gloves I was all night.
Last thing I remember is my
Beautiful psyche taking me to Studio.
Drunk on gloves.

I was all night, gloves, gloves.
I was all night, gloves, gloves.

Hold up!
That DuPont is the stuff that I do put on myself,
That I do put on myself, that I do put on myself.
Hold up, Stumblin’ In like Chris,
Suzi back up in the mix.
I’m playin’ My Summer Car,
Beatles said, “Yes, I’m gonna be a star.”
Trashmen said, “Don’t you know ‘bout The Bird?
Everybody knows that The Bird is the Word.”
Lucky like Clint Eastwood,
Know I be slingin’ that Smith, uh.
Tempest in a Teacup, Truckin’ like I’m Grateful,
Dead like Milkmen, beratin’ fools.
Ain’t got the time for no Mike Posner.
On sight, Golgo 13 is right
On the money, he don’t laugh, ain’t a damn thing funny.
I’m Gabe Newell, knew it, baby, yeah, I do play,
Windows 8 ain’t here to stay.
Said, Windows 8 ain’t here to stay.
It’s nice for me to reach these heights,
I need a G3 for firefights.
Sleep tight, T. Rex again in the morning,
And Supernaut is my breakfast.
I’ll go again; I be all night.

I was all night, gloves, gloves.
I was all night, gloves, gloves.

Four wheel drive, four wheel drive,
I can blend in, that’s the reason why
I was Born to Be Alive, Be Alive.
Didn’t mean to drink those gloves up, and that’s no jive.
I’ve been snortin’ watermelons.
I got some bodies to hide
Baby, don’t want ‘em, na na.
Can’t pry my hands from this Uzi.
Baby, I’m wanted, na na.

I was all night, gloves, gloves.
I was all night, gloves, gloves.
NOTES:

1-"Studio" refers to Studio 54
2-"Jumpin' On it" refers to the song "Apache" by the Sugarhill Gang
3-Genesis refers to the band and the Sega Genesis console, where Sonic the Hedgehog debuted
4-"Rollin' in the Deep" is not just the title of the song by Adele, but also an archaic term for ships tossing about in the ocean
5-"Hungry Like the Wolf" refers to the song by Duran Duran
6-Refers to Matt Groening
7-The C-body cars were Chrysler's full-size cars from 1965-1978
8-Got two Beach Boys references for ya here
9-"Stumblin' In" refers to the song "Stumblin' In" by Chris Norman & Suzi Quatro
10-"My Summer Car" is a quirky, irreverent, fun and challenging computer game where one has to build a car
11-Refers to the songs "Drive My Car" and "Surfin' Bird"
12-"Smith" refers to Smith & Wesson
13-Refers to the bands The Grateful Dead and the Dead Milkmen
14-Golgo 13 is the title character - a hitman - of a Japanese manga of the same name
15-Gabe Newell - often nicknamed "Gaben" - is a co-founder of the video game company Valve Software, who called Windows 8 "a catastrophe"
16-"G3" refers to the Heckler & Koch G3 rifle
17-T. Rex and Supernaut are 70s glam rock bands
18-"Born to Be Alive" is a disco song by Patrick Hernandez, which I had parodied a few years ago as "Bourne to Be Alive"

Copyright 2017 by Dylan Baranski GmbH S.p.A. Inc. Misuse is punishable by being a few seconds at most.

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Jeff - February 24, 2017 - Report this comment
One more of these type parodies and the gloves are coming off! (bad pun)

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