-> "Beast Side"
Original Song Title:
"Eastside"
Parody Song Title:
"Beast Side"
The Lyrics
Uh-uh
Yeah-eah, yeah
When I was young, I never once
Thought to ask Mum and Dad about cursed blood (yeah)
Then I grew up, right on the cusp
Of my eighteenth birthday, both my parents came and fessed up (yeah)
It seems my daddy spent a bit too much
Time in lakes skinny dippin' and he got bit on the butt
Oh, mum's the same, though not a lake
She had a forest next to her place
So I inherited a beast side
Didn't know when it would manifest
Thought that they meant it metaphor-like
But before me, metamorphosis (hey-ee-yeah)
Scared me, but it left a question in my mind
Once I had shat away my shock
Mum and Dad weren't both a wolf-type beast
Fish thing was Dad, Mum more bear-y, ee-yeah-eah
Could become either thing or some gross, halfway mutant
I'll admit, I don't know much here, feel stupid
It's not that possible to research all this
Would be too hard to tell the facts from horseshit
Don't wanna change, though they displayed
They kept their minds, that's better than animal rage
The trigger wasn't anger or some moon lunacy
It was done voluntarily
What a scene, I let out a scream
Because my family is cursed to have a monster beneath
And then, oh, suddenly, Dad lets out a meme
Which made the tense atmosphere drop rather hilariously
Mum started listin' off the things I might face
Might injest my food more viciously
Sometimes I might have an urge to show ev'ryone
That I can change, sure used the word "might" a lot
It's just a chance I'll have a beast side
The first time it's been inherited
Before Mum and Dad, no-one had tried
To share bedsheets, let alone have kids
They thought the risk was simply far too great, so I
Wonder how much they got told off
By their non-beast folks who couldn't see
Why one won't have kids, know I seem off-track
Keeps my brain off "What thing am I?" Don't know, feel stupid
The question I can't shake, come right back to it
Mind's filled with hordes of half-fish, half-bear mutants
Some half-and-half, some have the mix more fluid
When will I change? Is it my age?
Because, as I mentioned, tomorrow's my birthday
And Mum and Dad's stories happened when they were eighteen
Damn, now I wanna change to see
Wanna change now, wanna change now
Wanna change now (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Wanna change now, wanna change now
Wanna change now (ooh-ooh-ooh)
I must know if I have a beast side
Gotta know if I've got a beast side (ah-ah-ah-ah)
Did I get Dad's aquatic beast side (whoo!)?
Or Mum's more ursine-flavoured beast side?
Or, for no damn reason, a penguin?
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