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Song Parodies -> "Mail"

Original Song Title:

"Sail"

Original Performer:

AWOLNATION

Parody Song Title:

"Mail"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Living The Fantasy Supplemental" self-challenge. I wrote all four parodies for the supplemental whilst waiting for my 500th parody to go up. So if it looks like I'm putting out these parodies too fast, it's just a buffer. That said, parody about crappy postal service. Enjoy!
Mail!

Daily part of life, it sucks
Not like it's used to keep in touch
Got e-mail and my Twitter feed, buddy
Only bills are found inside
Bank statements, all that boring shite
Why is snail mail still a thing, buddy

Mail!
Fail!
Mail!
Fail!
Mail!

Half the time my name's misspelled
Someone else's mail, oh hell (oh hell)
Don't send their porn mags to me, buddy
Packages get sent to me
Whenever I take a leak
Don't put "attempted", wait for me, buddy

Mail!
Fail!
Mail!
Fail!
Mail!

Postal services
They're all kinds of buggered
Might help get me stuff
Online where it's cheaper
I like getting stuff
But the method sucks (Fail!)

Mail!
Fail!
Mail!
Fail!

Mail to me none of my stuff
Fail!
Mail to me my neighbour's crud
Fail!
Mail to me unwanted junk
Fail!
Mail to me, mail to me
Mail!

Second-longest running song on the Billboard Hot 100, this is, behind "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons but ahead of "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. And now I've parodied all three! Huzzah.

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