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Song Parodies -> "I'm Hawkeye"

Original Song Title:

"One Last Time"

Original Performer:

Ariana Grande

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Hawkeye"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. The final member of the original MCU Avengers lineup gets his due: Hawkeye! As clearly was not evident enough by the title.
My name's Clint Barton, my shots don't miss their target
My mentor was the Swordsman but he lost my endorsement
Cause I discovered he was a funds embezzler
He kicked my ass then and there, got pulled out of that fi-ire (hey)
By Trick Shot, but I got quite a lot of guff from my brother
He thought I was disloyal, ain't true (hey)
He pissed off to join up with the army, I stayed performin'
Got jealous of that Iron Man dude (hey)

Now I-I'm Ha-awkeye-eye
Thought I could be my own kind of hero-o (hey)
The-e Ha-awkeye-eye
Too bad I got distracted real soon, thou-ough (hey)
I just wanted to woo Natasha Romanoff
Only time my little arrowhead was way off (hey)
I-I, Ha-awkeye-eye-eye
Plain failed to see her past, felt like a do-ope (hey)

"Me? An Avenger? Surely, Jarvis, you jest, sir"
Saved two lives from a mugger, one was Iron Man's butler
Could they forgive me? Of course, now they're my homies
I even had my own bunch of heroes on the West Coast (hey)
And I know what some dopes also crow "That dude's such a weakling
Who fights with just a bow? A dumb dude" (hey)
Cause they don't really know what I know about real ass-kickin'
I'm an expert tactician, it's true-ue, buddy-y (hey)

But I-I'm Ha-awkeye-eye
My schtick, I'll keep, because it always thro-ows (hey)
Tho-ose ba-ad gu-u-uys
For such a loop with all my trick arro-ows (hey)
Some have acid, some have nets, some just blow right up
I got flames, ice, acid, electric and plain stun (hey)
I-I'm Ha-a-a-awkeye-eye-eye
I love to see their face when that head blo-ows

Ah-la-a-a-hey
One time I was Goliath, so weird, changin' in size is (hey), yeah-eah-ee-ee
I've also been called Ronin, my sword skills got some honin', mate
Briefly Captain America, too

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, sti-i-ill, I-I'm Ha-awkeye-eye-eye-eye
If I can see bad stuff, I'll shoot like so-o (I'll shoo-oo-oot so strai-ai-aight) (hey)
I-I'm Ha-awkeye-eye-eye
Predictabl-le morons, can shoot bli-ind, thou-ough (hey)
I know where they're gonna be, it isn't tha-at hard, ma-ate
So they'll get adhesive arrows straight up thei-ei-eir a-arse (hey)
I-I'm Ha-awkeye-eye-eye-eye
You may no-ot see-ee why I-I'm such a threa-eat, thou-ough, yeah-eah-eah (whoo-ooh)
I-I'm Ha-awkeye-eye
Very deadly with or without a bo-ow

I would've linked to my parodies about said lineup in the intro, but I'm submitting this way later than I usually do, so I'm not in the mood. Also: saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 today, great film!

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Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 3

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