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Song Parodies -> "No Romeo No Juliet"

Original Song Title:

"No Romeo No Juliet"

Original Performer:

50 Cent ft. Chris Brown

Parody Song Title:

"No Romeo No Juliet"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Samson loved Delilah... Romeo, et Juliet... oh, impossible!
You dope, you dope
Stop all your claimin' you're relatin' to those
She's no Juliet, you're no Romeo, so just don't
I hope that you're kiddin', at least, you're trickin'
Wait, so you're not kiddin'? Shit, go back to thinkin'

You dope, you dope
At love, you're workin' hard, no jerkin' (yeah)
Brain needs a kickin', cause you're not thinkin' (whoo!)
Cause you know nothin' 'bout what you're talkin' (c'mon)
Rework that awful damn comparison, it sucks
Your head's in the clouds, you'd best bring it down, cause I really feel (I feel)
Your girl understands the meanin' of this play, I bet that she'll reel (c'mon)
When you make your schpiel 'bout how your love is real
Like Miss Capulet and the young Montague, you dumbass, they both got killed
It's not a compliment, twit, if she's your Juliet
She cheated on her betrothed cause Romeo got her wet
I know you're a sweetheart, a sweetheart
No "happily ever after" is found there, so switch your ref'rence

Look bad for claimin' you're relatin' to those
She's no Juliet, you're no Romeo, so just don't
Know you're good at thinkin' most times, no kiddin'
But this time you're missin' the whole point, start thinkin' (great dope)
I'm really hatin' your relatin' to those (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
She's no Juliet, you're no Romeo, so just don't (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Hope when I belittle, all flingin' spittle (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Won't need to rekindle, your love's far from brittle
Don't break it, dipshit

Did you not take high school English then?
Or through all the pages did you simply skim?
You can't say your love's true forever and all that schlock (no)
When you think to be star-crossed is the best, you prat
Look that phrase up once, you hack, you'll find that its' definition
Means that your tryst is not destined to really ever last
It means you're doomed as shit, you sad git
I'm mad this bit of culture has been twisted, man
Way too many say they get it when they botched it
Ignorant-ass dipshits, through the play, they've not been thumbin'
All they know's a quick watered-down kids' cartoon synopsis
"Two families that share hate have children that start lovin'"
Ignore all the real problems
Ancient grudge to new mutiny? Stuff that nonsense
And let's simply ignore that they're teens
Cause that's a little gross, Juliet's, like, thirteen (eeurgh)
And she's supposed to get hitched? Even in the context
Her dad think's she's young by, oh, only three years, that makes sense
Sorry, I've gone way off, gone way off
I tend to be defensive when Will Shakespeare gets up and butchered

I'm gettin' real angry, started yellin' hard, keep a moron from postin' (yeah)
A status that thinks bloody Googlin' shit is lame, because I'm hopin' (haha)
You get engaged to your girlfriend, mate, been shippin' this, okay (c'mon)?
So I'm hopin' this doesn't just go to shit, this might wreck your date (aow)
You'll come off as a poser if you think the end of the play (yeah)
Is a happy one, marriage ends systemic hate, that'll be the damn day
Just takes one little click to discover how those lovers ended up, mate
Not a pleasant fate, tried to fake their death and then run away
Powerful message of real communication, poison, he's takin' (rrrrgh)
She doesn't know that he sleeps, so she takes in a dagger straight in (yeah)
I'm afraid they lay in the ground, estimate 'bout six feet down
Tale of woe is what it was, you stupid, that's why you will look a clown
If you compare love to this story of teenage twits
They said love, were in the throes of lust, they thought with their bits
You're a pair of sweethearts, twee sweethearts
But that will end in twenty seconds, I fear, please switch your ref'rence

Please halt from claimin' you're relatin' to those
She's no Juliet, you're no Romeo, so just don't
Try a diff'rent ref'rence, one with an endin'
With no endless killin's and a happy endin' (great dope)
You keep on claimin' you're relatin' to those (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
She's no Juliet, you're no Romeo, so just don't (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Beg you, man, refrain from bad implications (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Cause she will be hatin' a man who's that brainless
Dumped in an instant

Romeo and Juliet were very much in love when they were wed, they honoured every vow, so where are they now? They're dead, dead, very very dead

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - February 26, 2018 - Report this comment
Nice negative love parody ;-) 555!
Matthias - March 20, 2018 - Report this comment
Not bad. Song seems a bit too long for the topic because you repeat yourself over and over again but it's a good idea and a nice twist on the subject
Max Power - March 20, 2018 - Report this comment
Not an easy song to work with so to be able to tackle the subject regarding romance is nicely done.
Devin Woods - March 24, 2018 - Report this comment
A strange topic to pusue, but totally worth it!

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