Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Cookies for My Elves, Milk for My Reindeer"

Original Song Title:

"Beer for My Horses"

Original Performer:

Toby Keith & Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"Cookies for My Elves, Milk for My Reindeer"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

Well the kids'll wake up on Christmas Day
Sayin' somebody got dolls, somebody got a sleigh
Somebody's playin' Nintendo, somebody got G.I. Joe
Somebody built a train, somebody got a lump of coal
Yeah, they got a lump of coal

Kris Kringle hung his shingle out in olden days
A man with a mission and a toy-making craze
Recruited us as helpers, rigged a high-tech sleigh
Bagged a bundle of gifts so he could give 'em away
For all the children to play

Now Santa Claus is one dude who will always rock
We got to pick the perfect presents while we're racing the clock
We'll hit every chimney from Butte to Bombay
Then we'll all meet back at the North Pole Café
We'll raise up a toast to another insane year
Singing cookies for my elves, milk for my reindeer

We get too many blizzards, we pay too many tolls
We get too much confusion from air traffic control
We fight UFOs and storms and anti-aircraft too
But harness up Rudolph and he'll push his way through
You can bet he'll make it through

'Cause Santa is the one dude you can always trust
Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, y'all can eat his dust
We'll hit every housetop from Laos to L.A.
Then we'll all meet back at the North Pole Café
We'll raise up a toast to another insane year
Singing cookies for my elves, milk for my reindeer

Cookies for my elves
Milk for my reindeer!
Copyright 2003+ Spaff.com. Shameless plug: Get this on the Robert Lund CD Elves Gone Wild!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 10
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Claude Prez - December 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Don't feel bad if this doesn't get a lot of votes because it took like 6 months for the Brady Bunch to cover American Pie but it was so bad nobody noticed. Also, I think to really appreciate this song you'd really have to hear it; too bad there isn't some sort of recording of it available anywhere.
ElvesGoneWild.com - December 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, Wild Man, er, Claude. Yeah, some sort of recording would be nice. If only.
Diva - December 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Hey Hey it's the monkeys.
I don't know the original song, but your poetry is exceptional, Spaffy! I liked the UFO Part, extra clever bonus points for that!
Billy Florio - December 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Great job
Spaff.com - December 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Billy: Thanx. Diva: If you're curious as to what this would *sound* like, I just might have a way for you to hear it...
Melhi - December 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Great job, Spaff!
Static - December 06, 2003 - Report this comment
This is a great parody. I can only hear Toby Keith singing this with Willie Nelson. This is the ONLY song I've ever heard parodied ont he website with a different rhyming sound that I could understand right. Are you gonna put the recording on your website? Oh yeah, 555 from me, Golden Deck award, kudos, etc. Too lazy to list everything.
Spaff.com - December 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanx, Mello and Static. There's not an MP3 of this on the web site, but you can get it on a shiny new CD....
Phil Alexander - December 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Another superb one, Spaff - I'm looking forward to getting my CD with it on... say, if you've recorded this, do you have a mix without the vocals, so I could try my version, too?
Spaff.com - December 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanx, Philbo. I don't know how protective of his minus tracks Robert Lund is, but I'll ask him.
Phil Alexander - December 11, 2003 - Report this comment
I got my CD yesterday... very chortleworthy, and I simply love track 5... must find it and vote :-)
Zerla - July 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Pacing is way off. 453
Spaff.com - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Actually, Zerla, you gave it a 153, not a 453, but either way it's far better than what you gave "Red State Woman," so I'm flattered.

And thanx again, Philbo, nearly two years late. Jeez - it's almost time to start shamelessly plugging ElvesGoneWild.com again.
Red Ant - December 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks to Jack Wilson and Mushroom, I found this parody which I might not have otherwise. Seemed a bit short on lyrics compared to TOS, but I'm sure the recording more than makes up for that. Stuffing your stocking with 5s.
Jack Wilson - December 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Love this one, 555! One of my favs of yours, I dont like country music too much so UI DKTOS, but form the reocrdingand lyrics and can get a sense of what it's like, so great! Only coutnry artists I can actually stand are Johnny Cash and Carrie Underwood, but I do like southern rock
Spaff.com - December 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanx, Red and Jackie. I've never considered myself much of a country fan either. The genre lines, however, have really shifted over the past decade; today's country sounds like pop/rock used to, and today's pop/rock sounds like dance/R&B used to. And don't ask me what "psychobilly" is, but the band Batmobile is one of my MySpace friends, and that's what they claim to play.

As for this being short on lyrics, I just looked up the lyrics to "Beer for My Horses." It repeats the chorus one more time at the end, so feel free to do likewise. Does the recording make up for that? Well, the best way to find out is to BUY THE ELVES GONE WILD! CD - ON SALE NOW AT WWW.ELVESGONEWILD.COM. IT'S THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR YOURSELF AND ALL OF YOUR LOVED ONES. Not that I would ever use this site to shamelessly plug my stuff.
Spaff.com - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, Red, I didn't expect my subtle marketing ploy to work quite so quickly. Thanks for the order, man. Your CDs go in the mail tomorrow.
Jack Wilson - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Spaff, you're right! Country music DOES sound like pop/rock music used to, and yeah the dance/R&B thng I kinda a gree,like Maroon 5. I totally agree. Tody'as punk music sounds like emo mostly LOL except Green Day and All American Rejects IMO
michelle moyo - November 24, 2009 - Report this comment
i want a song called my elves it is like this who`s gona help me make those toy`s make those toy`s all for good good girls and boys girls and boys girls and boys
Spaff.com - December 13, 2009 - Report this comment
michelle: That sounds like it could be a parody of "My Humps." GIYF.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/tobykeithwillienelson0.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 2091