Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Keith's A Retard"

Original Song Title:

"I Love This Bar"

Original Performer:

Toby Keith

Parody Song Title:

"Keith's A Retard"

Parody Written by:

Jason Reeher

The Lyrics

Toby Keith is the biggest country star of the moment. That he's also a jingoistic redneck with less talent than your average member of Menudo is lost on millions of his fans. Can't people tell that Toby is, well, "special" when it comes to intelligence? Here's the evidence; you be the judge.
Spoken Intro: "Hi, I'm Toby Keith, and I'm a retard."
Group of people: "Hi, Toby."

He's got a fat face
He's got big jowels
I heard he used to date pigs and cows
An' he's brain-dead, he's a fairy
He pretends he was in the military
Toby's the worst of the so-called country "stars"
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm Keith's a retard.

Keith's a retard
I can't stand his face
His music stinks so bad,
It's like a fart that you can taste
It aint too hard, he's a bozo bard
Ooh, hoo, hoo Keith's a retard.

He's a coward, he drives a Gremlin
He played with Barbie put he really likes Ken
An' he's a dim-bulb, He's a braggard
He's a pale imitation of Merle Haggard
In his videos he looks like a tub-o-lard
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm Keith's a retard.

He likes his Gremlin (he likes his Gremlin)
He likes his male cousins (cousins)
He likes to take 'em to Broadway shows
And put makeup on 'em now and then.

But Keith's a retard
I'd like to spray him with mace
Just go to one of those award shows
And take a big dump in his face

But no so such luck, he would just duck
Ooh, ooh, ooh, wooo Toby Keith sucks.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 2.7
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - April 19, 2004 - Report this comment
It's okay.
kelsey Sullivan - November 18, 2005 - Report this comment
You are a loser. toby keith is one of the best ever
everyone - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
That was funny. But I wasn't laughing with you, because you poorly written parody is not what's funny. What's funny is the excessive amount of irony and low amount of rhyming a correct factual imformation. Seriously, before dissing someone, make sure you know what you're talking about.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1126