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Song Parodies -> "Suicide"

Original Song Title:

"Kryptonite"

Original Performer:

Three Doors Down

Parody Song Title:

"Suicide"

Parody Written by:

Offender

The Lyrics

I'm not very sociable myself, but I should always point out that if, like Sartre, you think "Hell is other people," you're always free to leave. People who mope around about crap like that obviously have too much time on their hands.
If you think that this troubled world needs less of humankind,
If you're sad that we don't agree with what you have in mind,
And you're mad that others still live in spite of you,
There's always something you can do... (Yeah.)

If you're mad that others still live in spite of you,
Well, you know, others sometimes feel that way about you, too.
You really don't think Hell's waiting at the end?
If your life is hell, you've got one hell to spend!

You want to kill mankind;
Why don't you commit suicide?
If life is such a hell,
Why haven't you already expired?

If life is so worthless,
Who cares if death's dignified?
Suicide!

You know it's wrong to kill the weak
And you're a hypocrite, you freak.
You take for granted
Life that only comes one time around.

If you think you're better off dead,
Make your will out to me instead;
Give me your stuff
Before you're six feet underground!

Give your stuff to me if
You ever commit suicide;
If your life's wrongful,
Why haven't you already expired?

If you should not have lived
You should have already died:
Suicide!

[Instrumental]
(Yeah why don't you go?)

If we're a waste of space
Why don't you commit suicide?
We'll have plenty of space
When people like you have all expired.

Give us your organs if
You're hurting so much inside.
Suicide!

Yeah!!!

You want to kill mankind;
Why don't you commit suicide?
We'll have plenty of space
When people like you have all expired.

If you should not have lived
You should have already died:
Suicide!

(Woe, woe, woe...)
(Woe, woe, woe...)
(Woe, woe, woe...)
This advice also applies to population control freaks, abortionists, euthanasia advocates, and other would-be abolishers of humanity. Without you, the world would be more crowded, but it would also be a much happier place.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.1
How Funny: 2.9
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 1
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   2
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 2
 2
 
 5   1
 1
 2
 

User Comments

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Royce Miller - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Good lyrics
Red Ant - August 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I missed this one Offender. I had trouble with the pacing a bit but "funny" here is shot to hell for me, so no vote. I would say this parody is the first I've seen that would fall under the "This should never be recorded" category, if only for some dumb@ss might take it literally. Good job though. PS: I spotted this parody that you might take interest in (not mine):

http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/greenday135.shtml
Offender - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
That's gallows humor for you, although I think anyone crazy enough to take it literally is probably one of the people it's aimed at. The other parody you mentioned was pretty funny, it's true: as I mention there, it reminds me of my reaction to the last verse of Everclear's song "Wonderful." "Okay, okay, we believe you!"

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