Whenever I'm in urgent need
Of using plastic wra-ap
I try not to cry
Because it always ticks me off
Never works ri-ight

Have you ever tried to use cling fi-ilm?
The friggin' stuff refuses to stick
Where you actually want it to stick to
Damn this impossible cling fi-ilm

Yeah
Never a reprieve from this damn unrelenting
Film, and though the package says it's "painless"
That's a lie that's most outrageous

The part that's the most frustrating
Is when it wants to stick to itself
I try to remove it from itself
But that just makes it start again

I wish I didn't need this cling fi-ilm
But I don't want my food in the fridge
To dry out and be less tasty and so
I must wrestle with this cling fi-ilm

Yeah
I just can't believe that this infuriating
Film has not received so much complaining
Or at least grass-roots campaigning
That the company's relented
And fix wha-at makes us demented

Know it's not worth insanity
It's only saran wrap
Why are there all these names for cling fi-ilm?
Why not just cut the crap and call it
"Plastic-bollocks-that-makes-my-brain-implode-
Just-tryna-save-my-food"-type fi-ilm

Yeah
I would use tin foil instead of this annoying
Film, but the noise it makes is quite grating
And in summer it's quite blinding, screw it
Yeah
I'd rather boil my head instead of using
This insipid film abomination
But I don't want food mutation
And so though my soul is draining
I'll keep go-oing, stop the raging