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Song Parodies -> "Mr. FireLight (A Neanderthal Rant)"

Original Song Title:

"Mr. Brightside"

Original Performer:

The Killers

Parody Song Title:

"Mr. FireLight (A Neanderthal Rant)"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

A stone-age take on "keeping up with the Joneses"...
Here's the original.
I'm coming out of my cave,
Thought I was doin' just fine
Got a, got a big spear
To hunt a brontosaur
But now I cannot compete
Because my neighbour's got heat
So I'm stuck with raw meat
(And) freakin' berries to eat!
Now he's scoring with chicks
While I'm left feelin' blue
Ev'ryone's at his pad
Coz they love barbeque
Now he's walkin' erect
And his tools are not blunt
Ladies think he's per-fect
What an arrogant c...aveman
Mono-brow he shaves, man
It's for show....
A T. Rex he's cooked; no ribs for me!
That dude's in control...

Jealousy...pissed off in prehistory
Sure as pterodactyls fly
Sometime soon, I'll club that guy
But I've got a tiny brain,
Evolution's shunning me
Hoping soon we'll have a fight:
Me and Mr. Fire-light!

I'm standing out in the rain
Morosely chewing the spine
Of a Raptor I trapped
While Ugg is nice and warm
He started off with a stick
Struck by a bolt, electric
He's developing quick
Thinks he's so "Jurassic"!
Now he's carvin' a wheel
And he's speakin' with words
While my domicile stinks
Of Triceratop turds
I've a sloping forehead
And illiterate grunt
Should've been me instead
Of that arrogant c...aveman
He says "Call me Dave, man"
What a joke...
My primeval looks aren't helping me
A face like a troll... he's using cutlery!
And he thinks he's lookin' "fly"
Sabretooth cat suit and tie
I wish he'd just move away
(or get stomped by dino-feet)
Always stoned; he bones my wife!
I hate Mr Fire-light!

Hey, screw ya!
Yeah, screw ya!

Yes...the whole thing is wildly factually inaccurate: that's half the fun!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - June 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Thinking this song is worthy of a five is so easy, a Caveman could do it.
alvin - June 18, 2008 - Report this comment
prehysterical stuff
lil-Sabre-ress - June 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Lord Kristof, this is cute, zany, witty and so Cave-Wabo !! Love it! " I laughed at "Dave in his Sabre toothed cat suit " without his Stetson. . . never !!
Rex - June 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Either you have to stop writing or I need to expand my list of superlatives. This dino-soars!
AFW - June 18, 2008 - Report this comment
This is wild, and a story sorta' like Fred Flintstone on Viagra..
Jeff Reuben - June 18, 2008 - Report this comment
'His tools are not blunt' was a classic :) Excellent job again!

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