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Song Parodies -> "Filled-With-Lies Preview"

Original Song Title:

"How We Do"

Original Performer:

The Game ft. 50 Cent

Parody Song Title:

"Filled-With-Lies Preview"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

1500TH PARODY, Y'ALL! And as is my tradition, I have taken a song I parodied back when I was stupid and inexperienced and re-parody along a vaguely similar topic. Last time I rambled about the then-new Xbox. This time, we're still on the topic of videogames, but now it's all about the dangers of lying previews!
Filled-with-lies preview
It's givin' clues that nothin's true, gonna write 'em all up
Filled-with-lies preview
It thinks I'm stupid, I ain't stupid, won't buy all this bunk
Filled-with-lies preview
May be a huge consumer fool, still got standards here, bud
Filled-with-lies preview
Presume I'm stupid, I ain't stupid, you won't get my bucks

Online buffs know all this stuff
Is pure bollocks, it's complete bunk
Claim the game runs 60 frames at launch
I've seen it on, near lost my lunch
That thing runs 4 a sec, bud
Not the only problem, it's filled with bugs
All glitched up, textures look like mud
Awful, uh, you sure that tests were run?
Think you're just scum, disclaimers were none
Advance copies? None, had all your fans typin' out "Uuuugh"
Bug patch Day One
That's real stupid work, just means you want bucks
Each word on the back of the box
Are lies, claim it's a sandbox? Now that's a crock
One path, can't stop, huge invisible blocks
Long hallway of nought, it's a rehash of Gran Pulse
Trailers left a wake of awe on the boards I grace
So low, tactics you pulled to make it look great
A close-up frame of some grizzled face
And minuscule clips of lost Hobbit action scenes, lame (ah!)
Punchy, cheesy, tricksy, sleazy
I tell it to you, afraid that's how it works
I see through your little tricks
Five stars? Well, from which game site? Lips are zipped
This game is no good, I know you could
Make better while you were passed out
On laurels, dropped off, pushed out this rot lot
Somebody needs a good slap around
The gameplay is cruddy, dialogue is ass
Wall-to-wall bottoms, said this was not crass
I really don't care if that's what makes big cash
When you spew bullshit, that makes me mad

Filled-with-lies preview
I've found the cues that makes non-true all the crap you've made up
Filled-with-lies preview
May think I'm stupid, but I'm lucid, won't give you my bucks
Filled-with-lies preview
Might be a foolish gamer tool, not that much of a dunce
Filled-with-lies preview
Assume I'm stupid, I ain't clueless, won't fall for your bunk

Pushed this beta forward though you knew it would blow
Each preview screen that you had put out for show
Were outright fake, in French that's faux
Only told you that because then you'd learn somethin', this blows
Punchy, cheesy, tricksy, sleazy
Afraid that it's true, it's always how it works
You pull ev'ry simple trick
Orchestral music, blasts with ev'ry hit (ah!)
Tricked me? Nah, fooled me? Nah
Could see the shifty eyes with each update blog
Promises debunked: online? Lot o' junk
Your servers, they all crashed, puff and they're done
Now all the game sites have ripped you a new one
Sales will tank, hopes for a franchise are stuffed
You hyped us up, but then the rope got cut
With loot-crate bullshit, had players like "huh?"
Don't try to bluff, blame "sophomore slump"
Thinkin' I'm a dunce, this is game twenty-one
Saw red flags at once, still expected much
This game won't get better, DLC? Never
These bland-ass textures, this plot un-clever
The game director was sacked mid-venture
Such damage, can't salvage the baggage, will languish
Might be so bad it's good, so I'll buy it, I'm stupid

My original plan for this re-write was "This Is My Wii U", but by the time I got to it the Switch had happened and I never owned a Wii U for money reasons and it's a stupid parody concept to begin with and yada, yada, yada.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - December 04, 2017 - Report this comment
Sorry I'm late, but congrats on reaching 1500 parodies!

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