If near a match you are bending over
You always smelled like ash
Was I your girlfriend or just a gofer?
I should have gotten cash

There is no way that I'll let you back
With your blasted ways, I rather kick you where it's pitch black

Stop lighting up your farts
Say did I look a crispy tart?
Stop lighting up your farts
You stupid flambéed work of art

You burned me for the third time New Year's Day
Our love was overdue
I saw you with some beans and I ran away
I'm not a hottie that you can blow through

Now stay away 'cos you can't come back
You're a matchstick man and I will beat you with an ice pack

Stop lighting up your farts
At least when you are playing darts
Stop lighting up your farts
You stupid flambéed work of art

You need a doctor that's for certain
What's wrong with you?
I just found burn marks on my old curtains
I'm really feeling blue

There is no way that I'll let you back
With your blasted ways, I rather kick you in the gas crack

Stop lighting up your farts
At least when at the Mini Mart
Stop lighting up your farts
You stupid flambéed work of art

Stop lighting up your farts
I don't buy it's a martial art
Stop lighting up your farts
You stupid flambéed work of art