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Song Parodies -> "Precious (early Two Towers Song)"

Original Song Title:

"Breathless"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Corrs

Parody Song Title:

"Precious (early Two Towers Song)"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------As i have resolved to make all my parodies funny from now on - I just wrote one about gollum's internal conflict in the two towers. Throughout the book his two sides (one more evil - stinker and one less evil -slinker) are conflicted whether to take the magic ring (which gives the power of invisibility but it an evil being named sauron and evil in general have a lot of power over anyone wearing it) from the hobbits who are carrying it in order to destroy it or to not risk taking it. Some of the phrases in the song are directly inspired by dialogue in the novel. The parentheses are the better side and the words not in parentheses are the more evil side
Gollum, gollum, we needs precious
Gollum...

We're getting very hungry
The gnawing pain is quite severe
We'd be better at hunting
If again we could disappear

(We must be nice
And stay away from vice
And the hobbitses are kind
Shan't hurt them) should hurt them
(Can't hurt them) could hurt them
so...

Gollum, gollum, gollum we needs precious
While they're, asleep, we will kill both the hobbits
And take the ring, so we won't be foodless
Gollum, gollum
Yeah, gollum

And if we take it from them
We will be king of middle earth
And the ex-Dark Lord Sauron
Will be a nothing without worth

(You are a nut
He'd control our skinny butt
Then he would eat the world up
Don't want that
Can't have that)

Gollum, gollum, gollum we needs precious
While they're, asleep, we will kill both the hobbits
And take the ring, so we won't be foodless
Gollum, gollum
Yeah, gollum

(muttering for a while)


(We must be nice
And stay away from vice
And the hobbitses are kind
Shan't hurt them) should hurt them
(Can't hurt them) could hurt them
so...

Gollum, gollum, gollum we needs precious
While they're, asleep, we will kill both the hobbits
And take the ring, so we won't be foodless
Gollum, gollum
Yeah, gollum

Gollum, gollum, gollum we needs precious (don't be reckless)
Gollum, gollum, gollum we needs precious (don't be reckless)
Gollum, gollum, gollum we needs precious (don't be reckless)
Gollum, gollum
due to massive amounts of essays to write this is it for me for the next 10 days or so despite numerous ideas

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   3
 1
 2
 
 4   4
 3
 3
 
 5   3
 6
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Harvey - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment
It reads pretty funny! The problem is, I haven't heard the origional song. I kinda read this like I would a poem so I can try and give unbiased votes. All hail Tolkien!
Stray Pooch - March 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice job. Good choice for a parody, too. Man I love the Corrs!!!!
Steven Cavanagh - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
ARGGHH! I got halfway through writing one similar to this and *then* checked to see if it had been done. That'll teach me.

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