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Song Parodies -> "It Won't Sell"

Original Song Title:

"Gives You Hell"

Original Performer:

The All-American Rejects

Parody Song Title:

"It Won't Sell"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Blame It On The Pop" self-challenge. If at first you don't succeed, try try try try try until the patet office is fed up with your very existence. Or something like that.
You've got a new invention
And you think you've got it made
Hate to say it, but you're wrong, mate
You say you've got it workin'
But there isn't a place
In the market for it, mate

Gotta tell you, mate
Don't think it'll sell
That's right, it won't sell
Got the kinks out, great
But it just won't sell
Don't think it will sell

This isn't the first time, bud
Like that transparent car
"I've got it right this time"? My arse
Remember those food pills, bud?
I've never seen a flop that hard
Not since New Coke, har-har

I would like to believe you (-lieve you)
But I don't see pigs flyin'

So that is my case
Don't think it will sell
I doubt it will sell
Like your flavoured mace
I know it won't sell
I'm sure it won't sell
How much will it cost to pull this off all of the shelves
If it fails, and I know it will
Just think of the bill
So pack it up, ya dill

Remember those ice cubes you said won't melt?
Well, that was sure proved wrong
This seems like the same old song

Tell me how can I trust you (trust you)
My faith in you is dyin'

Each time it's the same
None of your shit sells
None of it will sell
Ev'ry single day
"This'll tot'lly sell!"
No, it will not sell
Floatin' fryin' pans or square saucepans, just what the hell
Were you thinkin', that crap won't sell
No, it just won't sell

I might as well see
What you've brought for me
Stop that puppy-dog-eyes routine
Show your crap then leave
Well, here's a surprise
I cannot believe my eyes
Somethin' that's useful?
I think this might sell

This is somethin', mate
I think it might sell
There's a chance, might sell
A small run first, 'kay?
In case it won't sell
I'm sure it will sell
After seven years and many beers you have done well
This thing is cool, think it'll sell
I'm sure this will sell

Can't believe it, mate
Your invention's swell
I think it will sell (I think it will sell)
Your old stuff was lame
But this one ain't, well
I think it might sell (I think it might sell)
Who'd've thought of it: pneumatic mitts, and they glow as well
(And they glow as well)
Call me a fool, cause you've done well
And these things might sell
(Think these things might sell)

I hope I'm not wrong
And that these mitts of yours sell well
(Better hope they sell)
And if I am wrong
Then you'll wish that you were in hell

Yes, the good invention was meant to be just as silly as the failed ones. Don't ask me how a mitt can be pneumatic, or why glowing is a good feature. Maybe it's for night-time baseball, who knows.

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Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 2

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Peter Andersson - August 17, 2017 - Report this comment
No such thing as pneumatic mitts? Well, maybe not yet - but I can easily see the claws on version 2.0 of these (link below) that I just ordered for my mom (her fingers are getting bad) develop in that direction.

https://www.coolstuff.se/Garden-Genie-Tradgardshandskar

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