Long time ago, me and my workmates here..
heading to the station on the town's main road
all of a sudden, a Labour spin doctor.....
in the middle....platform 1......and he said:

"look, we've done the best we can,
and we missed that goal"

well me and him, looked at each other
and I just said...."No Way"

and we caught the first train that did come to rest
and we happened to get:
the worst service we heard, it's where standing up is preferred

look into my eyes, well you're cramped here you see
one and one makes two, screw rail companys
it was cramped you see
once every hundred thousand miles or so
when the gears doth brake, and the train won't go
and to cars we go

needless to say, New Labour slumped
"we're crap" as the voters bailed
Mr. Blair was gone
he asked us: "be you tory's?"
and we said: "yes, we are again!"
shock!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

this is not the best service in the world, no
this is just an insult
couldn't remember the delay that we've just heard, no
this is an insult, oh, to the privatisation world
all right! we got the worst service in the world
all right! we got the worst sodding chuffing trains
the hopeless trains in the world

and the very simple thing - what it depends:
the cash we pay for the tickets right?
it isn't actually worth, the thing we spend it on

This is just an insult! you gotta believe me!
and I wish I'm not there, just a matter of opinion
ah! look, good god, stops movin'
so surprised it's crap you can't stop it

all right! all right!