Call your kids
Send 'em vids
Call ev'rybody
You are a mo-bi-le sta-ar

You think you're free-
To roam
Text-message anybody
Five-hundred ba-a-ars

And the question is
(In the cell-phone biz)
Can you hear me now?

Be anywhere
We don't care
Enjoy it, buddy
But don't you go very far

The people you call
Well they won't hear you at all
As you scream in vein
And when your bars are gone, you'll go insane
Then the phone bill comes

Curse and swear
We don't care
Ask anybody
We hook you in by the ea-ears

You get ring tones
Free phones
That cost us almost nothing
And we get you for two yea-ea-ears

And your contract rate
(If you pay us late)
It goes through the roof

And if you quit
You'll get hit
With extra charges
Your contract makes it quite clear

And isn't it strange
You're house is out of cell range
So you're phone won't ring
And ev'ry single day you'll lose the thing

A guy is walking all alone
Though no one's around he still talks and mo-oans
Is he nuts or on his phone?
No longer can you tell

.

And your battery
(Even though it's free)
Will die constantly

You're all alone
With your phone
Good luck there, buddy
And so you know what's at stake
If your phone ever should break, blame those cell-phone jerks
'Cause even though your phone no longer works
Still the phone bill comes


(OUTTAKES)

And your new phone can call three ways
But you will need to charge it for three da-ays
And by now you hate this phrase
But can you hear me now?