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Song Parodies -> "Crossing Guard"

Original Song Title:

"Closing Time"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Semisonic

Parody Song Title:

"Crossing Guard"

Parody Written by:

Tony Wiseguy

The Lyrics

Crossing Guard, dodge all the cars and make it home alive.
Crossing Guard, break up all the fights on every corner,
No more Mr. Nice guy.
Crossing Guard where is your Tylenol?
Some five year old just gave you the finger.
Crossing Guard, who threw that snowball?
Let me tell you it was a real humdinger.

You know why you want to work alone.
You know why you want to work alone.
You know why you want to work alone. Work alone.

Crossing Guard, time for you to clean your shoes,
And scrape off the bubblegum.
Crossing Guard, you want to line those kids up,
And shoot each and every one.
So gather up your thoughts, forget about the gun shots.
Just give those kids a kick in the rear end.
Crossing Guard, if you happen to kill one of those kids,
Its the beginning of the end. Yeah.

You know why you want to work alone.
You know why you want to work alone.
You know why you want to work alone. Work alone.
Crossing Guard, time for you to clean your shoes,
And scrape off the bubblegum.

You know why you want to work alone.
You know why you want to work alone.
You know why you want to work alone. Work alone.
You know why you want to work alone.
You know why you want to work alone.
You know why you want to work alone Work alone.

Crossing Guard, if you happen to kill one of those kids,
Its the beginning of the end.
All my lyrics are copyrighted.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dylan Baranski - June 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent parody of one of my favorite songs from the 90's! Here's a fine of $555 for you.
Tokusou Sentai Blessranger - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
That will fit well in another Polka Power parody! That's 453 for you: 'cause... I'm... a... crossing... guard! (Yeah a crossing guard, we're talkin' 'bout crossing guard, it's really a closin' time)

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