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Song Parodies -> "Gollum Wants His Ring"

Original Song Title:

"Flying Without Wings"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Ruben Studdard

Parody Song Title:

"Gollum Wants His Ring"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

So, 1010 is a lot of parodies to write without tackling Lord of the Rings (unless I forgot something I already wrote, which is possible). Let's fix that!
Once he was a no-ormal li-ittle Hobbi-it
Now an ema-acia-ate-ed frea-eak
Forgotten ho-ow to u-use pluralse-es
Eating fish li-ive and qui-uite messily
But this cave-li-iving, scratchy-throated creatu-ure
Has only o-one thing on hi-i-i-i-is mi-i-i-ind
For that he'll a-attack Ho-obbitse-es
For he wants his precious thing
Yes, Go-ollum wa-ants hi-is ring

When he-e first hea-eard the O-One Ri-i-ing calli-i-i-ing
He tried to cho-oke out hi-is frie-ie-iend's life
Now he's real obsessed with his "preciou-iou-iou-iou-iou-iou-ious"
Don't try to ta-ake it from him, tha-at's no-o-ot wi-i-ise
He'll bore you with his ri-iddles endle-ess
Or send you to-o where Shelo-o-o-o-ob hides
I'd take the spide-er, honestly-y
Riddles are stupid things
Just gi-ive Gollu-um hi-is ring

So I alterna-a-ate between pity-y
A-And sheer re-e-evulsion at thi-is freak
Ho-obbit once kno-o-own to friends as Smeago-o-o-o-ol
Bites o-off fingers wi-ith ea-ea-ease

So it's real hard to decide what to do-o, yeah-eah
With this argues-wi-ith-pools dude, ma-ate
Give in and give him warmth a-and goo-ood foo-oo-ood?
O-Or just stab hi-im right i-in the-e-e fa-a-ace? Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
What he plans to do with the ring, don't kno-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ow
Do-on't thi-ink it's worth all of hi-is hype, his hy-y-y-ype
If it makes me-e beco-ome like him
The-en the jewell'ry gets ditched
Give Go-ollum hi-is damn ri-i-ing
He's utterly-y pathe-etic
But his nai-ails loo-ook sha-arpish
So Gollu-um ge-ets hi-is ring
There's less accurs-ed things
So Gollu-um gets hi-i-i-is ri-i-ing

I made an executive decision to not transcribe all the background vocals in the last chorus, which was just a bunch of "ah-ah"s and repeating the line Ruben just sang. This decision was brought to you by me being sick of parodying ballads for this Karaoke Revolution thing so I couldn't be buggered being as thorough as I normally am. In addition, though I've read conflicting reports about whether my habit of transcribing all the pitch changes helps with singing along to the OS or not, I don't think having all the "ah-ah"s really helps with that, they're just clutter. Therefore: bugger it!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   2
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