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Song Parodies -> "Hem-Hem-Hemorrhoid!"

Original Song Title:

"A Place To Crash"

Original Performer:

Robbie Williams

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Ow ow! Ow ow! Ow ow!
Oh man, oh man!

I I I I am on a mission
To consult a physician
Will need it real soon
Ugh, this isn't just an itch
Got a new eating niche--
Need fiber-rich food

Too much straining in the intestinal
Makes a pain that is unbearable
Let me tell you
It ain't no fun at all

No, it's not a rash
(Hem-hem-hem-hem hemorrhoid!)
Popped right out my ass
(Hem-hem-hem-hem hemorrhoid!)
Worse than a whip lash
(Hem-hem-hem-hem hemorrhoid!)

K-k-k-k-keep Metamucil near
Mix it with some mild tea
Buy some Preparation --
H for me
Ooh, ooh, ooh
It really prevents you
From dancing a soft-shoe
Believe you, me

Every move I make is agony
Gotta wait for it to shrink naturally
Pillow or two
Cushion my bum, don't fall!

My teeth start to gnash
(Hem-hem-hem-hem hemorrhoid!)
Like I sat on glass
(Hem-hem-hem-hem hemorrhoid!)
Can't do Monster Mash
(Hem-hem-hem-hem hemorrhoid!)
Or slam to The Clash
(Hem-hem-hem-hem hemorrhoid!)

Oh my ass! Can't sleep at night!

Oh that pain down south
Got me, so quite drained
A blight!

Ugh, ow! Ugh, ow! Oh man, oh man!

Today I pray that I will not have to crawl
To the nearest health clinic, I got no cash at all
That's a thing you can't lance, why's that thing oh so small
Cause this pall that's rectal, puts my balls to the wall!

This is the reason for my new interment
Ain't no baloney, I am one inflamed gent
I feel so crappy, take a sitz bath, lament
As I sweat while I set, then Tuck it, I'll Tuck it

Ugh ow! Ooh, ooh! Ugh ow! Ooh, ooh! Ugh ow! Ooh ooh!
Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!
Copyright 2011, Agrimorfee.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Don't want to be anal....LOL...but it's all funny "in the end"...LOL I covered that territory as a Mel Brooks number in:
Rob Arndt - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
ROTFLMAO!!! As someone who is disabled with many diseases and illnesses, I can totally relate. Constipation, IBS, and Hemorrhoids are the source of so many adolescent jokes... but none of these are funny in real-life if you got 'em!!! I never had hemorrhoids and hope I never do... OUCH!!!
Wild Child JIN - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
I have had hemorrhoids, and had to have them surgically removed, and believe me, there is NOTHING funny about them at all! In fact you can say that they are a real pain in the a**!!! LOL!!! :-D But anyways, love the parody however! It gave me a "pain" in the "side" with laughter, Great Job! 5's :-)
bobpiecheese - May 28, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Hope this wasn't based on experience (just as much as I hope that this isn't something I experience). Really liked the way you incorporated the "ooh"'s and stuff into the topic matter...wouldn't be surprised if that's where the idea came from. 555!
Blaydeman - May 29, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Man this was hilarious! And sorta disgusting, but there's a fine balance I guess. YOW! it hurts how funny this is! 555!
Rex - May 29, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Lowbrow lyrics, highbrow writing. Two great parody attributes that go great together. Still, I bet it feels good to have this behind you.
Below Average Dave - May 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Oh my God Agri, this is so different from what I'm used to from you--love it, and unfortunately I have to say I can relate. . .ugh. . .anyway great parody--I almost said holy s**t but considering the subject, perhaps that'd be a bad choice of words

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