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Song Parodies -> "Trapped In The Gauntlet (Chapter 3)"

Original Song Title:

"Trapped In The Closet (chapter 3)"

Original Performer:

R. Kelly

Parody Song Title:

"Trapped In The Gauntlet (Chapter 3)"

Parody Written by:

Arcade Junkie

The Lyrics

Chapter 3-I've never seen such bravery!
Well, here we are, the 4 of us in total shock
Valkyrie closed her mouth to swallow spit
Elf is thinking to himself, "This is some deep (expletive)"

Then I said, So you're gonna tell me I'm the one that you want me to
Elf said yes, Wizard said no, Elf said yes, Wizard said no, Elf said it's the truth
I yell, all of you are crazy, let's go for the exit door
Because this is what more than you bargain for

And Valkyrie said, Yes, I'm sure we can fix it
And Wizard said, I'm in, 'cause I got a darn thing to do with it
And Valkyrie said, but wouldn't you like to know where the game began
And then I thought to myself and said, quick, we got 5 minutes

And then it got real quiet, I said, somebody start talking
Valkyrie said, my lord Wizard, I've just got one question
How come were all alive and that no one's hurt?
And Elf looked at her, and said, Valkyrie, please calm your nerves

With all your sword rockin', lying saying you went treasure shopping
And now we're not at home, calling Valkyrie wrong
She said the ghosts did bust on me, but then my sword just disagreed
Then came too many, and got a little extreme

Elf said, there are some grunts coming behind my back
And now with my bow, we are trapped in the gauntlet, how extreme is that?
She says Elf is a he, then Elf said, please don't you judge me
She says Wizard, this is crazy, then I said, stop arguing

I did not stay here by myself to get myself out
So get to the point, or else I will get out
Excuse me please, but I think I can explain what's going on here
My name is Elf and I've been knowing Wizard for about a year
and every night looking around with him has been a living hell

Going in and out of mazes, I said get keys to get us out here
Then Wizard said to Elf, please don't say nothing else
and Valkyrie screams, Wizard, you old-headed wench
and Elf says, Lobbers, go to hell

I said, I know your name is Valkyrie, that's what I said when you joined my party
Man this is getting scary, let's all shoot, everybody!
Then Wizard starts shooting some lobbbers saying Valkyrie, it wasn't your fault
Elf throws some arrows at them and says, i'll be with them, too

The only difference is we didn't get caught
Elf screamed out, there's the grunts! Valkyrie says Grunts my (expletive)!
Wizard had to use some lightning, then I shoot in with my axe
Then I say not another one of you wackos say a word,
'Cause all of this mess that I know of is unheard

Ran to the doors saying this is so wrong
All out alone, hoping I can get back home...
Can he get back home? Find out in another chapter of the gauntlet!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Fitu - October 13, 2005 - Report this comment
You mean the
Some Guy - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
You should have your balls ripped off so that you can not contaminate the rest of the world!

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