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Song Parodies -> "Tasty Cow"

Original Song Title:

"Take A Bow"

Original Performer:

Rihanna

Parody Song Title:

"Tasty Cow"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Viva La Pop" self-challenge. Imagine if you will, a cow came around to your house to offer itself to you as a tasty snack, speaking and everything. Wouldn't that be really weird? Weird enough to write a parody about, IMO. Enjoy
Oh-ooh, not here to offer you pork
Yeah, no chook or bacon
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh, yeah-eah-eah
Yeah, y-yeah, yeah

I heard you wanted cow
Here to offer some now
You can have whatever size
Giant slab or mini-bites
Please, just try me out
I know that I'm a cow, but worry not
Cause, buddy, I'm alright with people chewing on my butt

So would you prefer a roast (ooh-woah)
I was kinda hopin'
Barbecue's a no-show (ooh-woah)
With those coals a-glowin'
I already know (ooh-woah)
That my time is closin'
So pick something now (so choose something now)
I'm such a tasty cow
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Grab a plate, knife and fork (and fork)
If it'll cheer you up
I'll let you have my left ho-o-o-o-orn (nice horn)
Do you like your beef rare with lots of blood
Or would you like me well done
Please, I'm getting bored (oh-woah-oh)
You can't tell me that hungry you are not (mmm)
Buddy, I can hear the rumbling coming from your gu-u-u-u-ut

I know it feels icky, bro (ooh-woah)
When the cow is talkin'
But I'm fine with it, so (ooh-woah)
Let's get to the nommin'
You keep saying "gro-o-oss"
Please don't keep me waitin' (ooh-woah)
Come on, eat me no-o-o-o-o-ow (please just eat me now)
I'm quite the tasty cow

Oh-oh-oh, are you some kinda vegetarian, dude? (Well, are you?)
A vegan? Pardon me
I've just wasted your time, so-orry-y
The blame's on me, oh-oh-oh

Guess that this barbecue sauce
Heh, ahh
Will be sadly waste-ed

Well, I think I'd better go (ooh-woah)
Sorry for invadin'
Your quite lovely ho-o-ome (ooh-woah)
So my hat I'm raisin'
Goodbye, cheerio (ooh-woah)
I'd better be leavi-i-i-i-in'
Think that I'll go 'round (I think I'll go 'round)
Round to your neighbours' no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ow
See if they'd like cow

I can't remember if vegetarianism came up in that scene in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe where a cow advertised its tastiness to Arthur Dent and company, but then I'd be trying to convince myself that I'd come up with an original twist, and we all know there's nothing new under the sun. This has been your Irrelevant Tangent for the Day.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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User Comments

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John Lomain - June 05, 2014 - Report this comment
This was funny. As a kid I imagined the pink panther going door to door selling radios that only played the theme music to the show, the intro to this reminded me of that

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