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Song Parodies -> "Who Else Hates Exclusives?"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Stop the Music"

Original Performer:

Rihanna

Parody Song Title:

"Who Else Hates Exclusives?"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Viva La Pop" self-challenge. A story of a man addicted to all those bonus items exclusive to certain stores when purchasing the latest game or film despite hating the very concept of it. Enjoy!
Who else hates exclusives?
Cause I hate exclusives
Friggin' store exclusives
Do you hate exclusives?

A thing I hate
Finishing my collection of video games
I only want a single copy
Will things go my way?
Not chance in hell, each store has diff'rent things to give away
I kinda find that lame, yea-eah
And you
Say "What's the problem? Just get your fav'rite, dude"
Wish I could, such a choice just isn't possible
Could be OCD, but I just gotta have them all
Sure is a giant loa-oad, bro-o

Know I shouldn't be bothered
Don't want my money squandered
But ev'rytime, my brain won't let them go unwanted
I know it's stupid, mate
I blame it on my brain
It's such an ass, sayin' "that one comes in a cool case!"

That's what I go through each day
With collectables of all sorts, my cash goes to waste
Though I know it's stupid
My brain can't refuse it
Resistance is useless
I don't want the, got to get exclusives
Bonus stuff isn't that great
But the awesome feeling of a complete set is, mate
Though the stuff is pointless
I just can't avoid it
Cash flushed down the toilet
Got to get the, but don't want the
Thus I hate exclusives

Buddy, get me to the store before it's closed
Pre-orders ends soon for the exclusive to-ome
Yes, in ten minutes, sites will post the info-o
I gotta have it thou-ough, bro-o

Yes, once again it's started
Need all the pointless bollocks
I hate it all the while, make sense, me, stupid bastard
Step on the pedal, mate
Get to the store with haste
That is the plan, stave off my obsession for today

Wish that I could take a break
From my need to have each bonus item though they're lame
I'm aware it's stupid
Wish I could refuse it
But I have to do it
Gotta get the, but I hate exclusives
The concept's so friggin' lame
Forcing people to choose which one to buy, far from great
Normal peeps refuse it
But I'm locked into it
Addicted to bullshit
I don't need the, got to have the
Pointless-ass exclusives

Stuck with these exclusives
I know that they're stupid
Just addicted to it

Isn't just video games
Sometimes movies have these baubles or just a cool case
You can say it's stupid
I know that acutely
My brain won't refuse it
I don't want the, but I need exclusives
I know other geeks relate
Even ordering from Japanese online stores, mate
We're all locked into it
Yes, some can refuse it
I cannot, it's stupid
I can't stand the, gotta have the
All of the exclusives

Don't want the exclusives
Must get the exclusives
Who else hates exclusives?

Yeah, I didn't parody the "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' sample. If you really wanted that, replace the "mama se, mama sa, mama coo sa" with "gotta get the exclusives though they suck". Whatever helps you sleep at night.

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