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Song Parodies -> "Mars"

Original Song Title:

"Hard"

Original Performer:

Rihanna

Parody Song Title:

"Mars"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Random parody of randomness, which somehow involved Martian stereotyping and an apocalyptic scenario. My mind works in mysterious ways.
I'm up here (where is here?)
I'm up here (but where is here?)
I'm way up here (but where is here?)
The red planet

It's red, it's red
It's red, red
It's red, so red
Quite red, yeah

Won't invade you, never
I am not a conq'ror
Won't risk that endeavor
Nope, won't try it

It's not worth me tryin'
Films made you excited
But they make me cry 'n'
Stuff, I know this

Martians dyin', not winners
Your B-movies have killed my int'rest
Don't think I'll, crash your place
You won't change that

Mars Attacks, it had me hurtin', Burton
Insulting my race, stop
I'm not about random violence, dear
I'm quite happy with my pad up here

You fear that I'll come down and blow shit up
Just blow all your shit up
Don't fear, I'm really quite a peaceful, friendly bloke
I just don't have a nose

And I-I-I, I'm on Mars (on Mars)
The red planet, I'm on Mars (on Mars)
Yes I-I-I live on Mars (on Mars)
The red planet, I'm on Mars (on Mars)
Yes I-I-I live on Mars (on Mars)
The red planet, yes, that Mars (on Mars)
On Mars, on Mars, eat cars and bars

(The red planet)
Not a crazy Martian invader
(The red planet)
Not a nasty Martian invader
(The red planet)
Ain't no monst'rous Martian invader
On Mars, on Mars, I'm Martian, y'all

You can't top this, got Deimos and Phobos
You've one moon, I bet you're jealous
Weird, lumpy-py-py, like potatoes*
Why they're shaped like that, that, that
I cannot guess

Stayed out of sight for now
I've got a busted Rover pound
Trailin', you're failin'
One me hidden from seven billion

I don't want a war
I'd rather smoke Martian crack
Because I've got a lot
Don't want a war
You're jumpy and crazed, about to blow

I can't just get up and invade you like that
I don't give a crap, yeah
We're more alike than you may think you know
Got twelve fingers and antennaes, though

And I-I-I, I'm on Mars (on Mars)
The red planet, I'm on Mars (on Mars)
Yes I-I-I live on Mars (on Mars)
The red planet, I'm on Mars (on Mars)
Yes I-I-I live on Mars (on Mars)
The red planet, yes, that Mars (on Mars)
On Mars, on Mars, eat cars and bars

Cause Mars is my home, my humble residence
The only one that I've got, that's why I'm hesitant
And I'm the last Martian, shocked? Not surprised a bit
I'd show proof, but believe me, that story's long as shit

Soon I'm gonna run out of food, I'm out of cheelo
That's like a reptilian donkey, tastes good, but rare though
Even if there were some shops left, I can't afford it
Yeah, my town has had it bad, looks like a bomb hit

I've lost my Martian dog, Martian cat, Martian babes
Martian friends, could call me O-Martian Man
I need a rescue party, not from you hacks
You see something like me, try to shoot that

Don't try to arrest, don't try to admit
You know shit 'bout Mars, so I won't submit
Mars: my home's gone to crap, see
If it weren't for your stupid films
Us as friends? Could be

Where them grey buggers at?
Is what I hear you ask
I ain't that, I ain't that, I ain't that

Where that Marvin at?
That I hear you ask
I ain't that, I ain't that, I ain't that

Where my rednecks at?
That I hear you ask
I ain't that, I ain't that, I ain't that
On Mars, on Mars, I'm starved on Mars

And I-I-I, I'm on Mars (on Mars)
The red planet, I'm on Mars (on Mars)
Yes I-I-I live on Mars (on Mars)
The red planet, I'm on Mars (on Mars)
Yes I-I-I live on Mars (on Mars)
The red planet, yes, that Mars (on Mars)
On Mars, on Mars, eat cars and bars
That's ri-i-ight
*pah-tayt-ehs, not po-tay-toes (boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew), mmm'kay?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   1
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