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Song Parodies -> "I Can Not Drive"

Original Song Title:

"Shut Up and Drive"

Original Performer:

Rihanna

Parody Song Title:

"I Can Not Drive"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

I'm normally a driver with a real nice ride
But once and awhile I have a crazy side
I'm a real dumb, idiotic crash machine
I hit everything in my view that I can see

So if I hit you let me know, know, know
And while your screaming "What'd you do that for?"
I won't be driving on the road, road, road
Don't hold me back I want to go, go, go, go

I can get a high speed of one-eighteen
And I drive real fast just to make a scene
At every turn, I swerved- and I ran all the lights
If you see me coming your way, you should run in fright
And I'm going 60 in a 35
Someone please take my keys-
Cause I can not drive
(drive, drive, drive)
I can not drive
(drive, drive, drive)

I plowed into a 57' Cadillac
I'm riding on rims cause my tires are flat
I'm missing all my doors and I lost my hood
Someone please just stop me now, I wish you would

I did donuts on your lawn till' four
The best part is you don't know, know, know
The grass is dying it won't grow, grow, grow
I hit your mailbox and your garden gnomes, GO!

I can get a high speed of one-eighteen
And I drive real fast just to make a scene
At every turn, I swerved- and I ran all the lights
If you see me coming your way, you should run in fright
And I'm going 60 in a 35
Someone please take my keys-
Cause I can not drive
(drive, drive, drive)
I can not drive
(drive, drive, drive)

Some think I'm not sane, what do I got? ("Man he's crazy")
Can't stop… went past the cops
Sped past Ferrari's, oh man, I'm sorry
And you should be worried
When I want to just ride
(hide, hide, hide, hide, hide…)

So if I hit you let me know, know, know
And while your screaming "What'd you do that for?"
I won't be driving on the road, road, road
And if you see me you should go, go, go, go

I can get a high speed of one-eighteen
And I drive real fast just to make a scene
At every turn, I swerved- and I ran all the lights
If you see me coming your way, you should run in fright
And I'm going 60 in a 35
Someone please take my keys-
Cause I can not drive
(drive, drive, drive)
I can not drive
(drive, drive, drive
Man, I can not drive
(drive, drive, drive)
I can not drive
(drive, drive, drive)

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

zPolak - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
teh suckz! u kno u can rite bettr than dis!
jeyc - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
nice. made me lol.
Nancy - September 06, 2008 - Report this comment
AHAHAHA!!! lmfao i love it!! this is like the best parody in the world
Matthias - November 21, 2014 - Report this comment
An oldie by you. Close to 10 years old now but it's not a bad one. A lot different than your newer work but still a lot of fun.
Max Power - November 28, 2014 - Report this comment
You gave it a good drive.
bobpiecheese - December 02, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Pretty good for such an old parody, 555 and all that, but the repeated choruses kinda drag it down a bit.
Agrimorfee - December 02, 2014 - Report this comment
I can see bits of Weird Abbottness here from a decade ago. The chorus was a little clunky to read along, so yeah, things have definitely improved since then. (Rihanna;s been around 10 years, too? Wow,)
Blaydeman - December 03, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) it's interesting to see a spoof from a decade ago. I see flashes in this of the writer you've become. This is good, but you've definitely grown a lot since then. Good stuff from your back catalog.

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