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Song Parodies -> "Why Are Mormon Girls so Horny?"

Original Song Title:

"Tell Me Baby (What's your Story?)"

Original Performer:

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Parody Song Title:

"Why Are Mormon Girls so Horny?"

Parody Written by:

Jango

The Lyrics

Not meant as an insult, just noticed the curious tendency of really nice Mormon girls going for "bad boys."
They come from Utah state to find
No boys were meant to be declined
Don't tell mom what you just did behind
The school gymnasium.
No turning down a date from slime-
y characters you met in line
At the market with the broken sign
Why are you acting dumb?

(rapping part)
Don't forget it happened in a lonely desert
Silly visions, I'm not sure I even get it!
It's turned into somewhat of a silly gimmick
Kinda got away from the way that nature did intend it!

This town is closed on Saturdays
Just look at all the Latter Days
Dressed up with their eleven kids
Three wives, and six in-laws!


Chorus:
Why are Mormon girls so horny?
Where'd that come from, and angel named Maroni, now?
They're so lovely, never lonely
Giving up the religion that they've left behind

Some blame it on the solitude
Abnormal rules and attitudes
No matter what your aptitude
You'll go to Brigham Young

Your sex drive came a little soon
The boys in fourth grade made you swoon
Church rules say you can't be alone
Until you reach sixteen!

(rap)
Ain't it shitty baby when your folks believe in Joseph Smitty!
Life would be a little sweet if you could marry when you're ready!
What a pity, cancha marry someone pretty?
Lookin for a hunk, but you end up with a wrinkled bitty!

Twelve children and a cozy home
You now you'll never be alone
Make sure the Mormon chromosome
Goes on so blond and pure

(Chorus)
Had a baby, then some more-y
Where they come from is not an unknown story, now
Use the condom in the drawer-y
Don't give up independence for
The Mormon Way!
It's a really long song, so I had to go off topic a bit. Suggestions for improvement welcomed!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   2
 2
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 5   5
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Brigham Smith - January 11, 2007 - Report this comment
One suggestion: It's "Moroni," not "Maroni." Add a "C" and...well, that's another story. Loved Da "Smitty" verse.
jango - January 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh yeah, I was thinking of "Bony Maroni." Or maybe I can't even spell that! Thanks--
2Eagle - January 11, 2007 - Report this comment
They have to be horny to have all those kids and build up the church membership.
Kristof Robertson - January 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Spotless pacing, great rhymes, very funny...it's ALL good, jango! 555
Jango - January 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments, and for being patient enough to read it all. Oops, I found a typo. And someone left ones and doesn't even know why. Huh. Must be a bad time of the month for some people, which should be good because at least they're not pregnant (again).
Tommy Turtle - January 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Very politically incorrect, which is a good thing around here :) ... I once knew a girl who was a very strict Southern Baptist. They weren't allowed to drink, dance, or play cards, so the only thing left to do for fun was ......... "Saturdays/Latter Days: 555, and Donny and Marie would be proud.
Me - October 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Responding to 2Eagle: Our membership is doing just fine with people converting. That is definitely NOT the reason why SOME mormon families have large families. I know quite a few baptist people who have alot of siblings. Jango: What all do you know about the LDS religion? Apparently not that much. Poligamy (which you reffered to in you 3rd stanza) is no longer practiced in our religion due to immature people like yourselves and to the fact that it is no longer needed. You probably dont even know WHY it was put into effect. So. Before you write anything else, i would advise you to research it and actually make sense of what you say and make sure that it is not offensive in any kind of way. I, as a matter of fact, am a mormon girl. I DO NOT live in Utah, I do not get "so horny", and I respect myself, Brigham Young, Joseph Smith,and ALL of the rules and regulations of my religion. So maybe you should say "Why to SOME girls get so horny" and leave mormons out of it. Thanks.
KintarosTiger - November 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Fantastic. This stuff is pretty funny. Being interested in theology, it's an interesting concept; especially considering how abstinence is a huge thing for the religious.
KintarosTiger - November 06, 2008 - Report this comment
@ Me: Uhm, dudette? It's a parody. To be honest, I dunno how I'd react if someone made fun of Protestantism (is that even a word?), but it's all just a joke. Besides, someone can easily make this song "Why are Baptist Girls so Horny?" in a heartbeat. or "Why are Catholic Nuns so Horny?", et cetera, et cetera, et bloody cetera.
KT again... - November 06, 2008 - Report this comment
And I meant this song is a joke, not religion, but this blasted song. Damn OCD egging me on...
Emma - February 16, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't find it that funny really. It's quite offensive especially when you don't got the facts right. You should at least do some research and get the info right before making up such a song or just don't even waste your time writing up things like this.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment
er the song is called tell me baby

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