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Song Parodies -> "They're Lost In Space"

Original Song Title:

"This Is The Place"

Original Performer:

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Parody Song Title:

"They're Lost In Space"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

I've always kind of liked the "Star Trek" franchise...up until now, that is. "Star Trek - Enterprise" ? YUCK! Dreadful! My former CCH co-worker "oca" was also a fan of the Trek shows and we used to have a weekly "water cooler" discussion on how bad "Enterprise" was and if there was any hope it would turn around. The verdict: NO WAY! Since both of us like the original RHCP song "This Is The Place" I thought it appropriate to use it for this parody.
This was the place where Trekkie's used to go
The time has passed when they would watch this show
There's no action on the screen
Here's another boring scene
Turned it off because it seems
Star Trek has flat run out of steam

I can't even watch it; it is awful shit
I won't even tape it; I turned off the set

It is so boring
I sat there snoring
Stinking and corny
It is so hard to view
Viewers are wailing
Ratings are failing
Sponsors are bailing
Terrible show, P.U.

(eeeewww - eeeewww - eeeewww - eeeewww)

Why can't they see that Captain Archer needs
More gravitas to show that he can lead
Check out his commander, Trip
He is such a dickless drip
You see better acting done by characters in comic strips
It's boring; the pace is always very slow
I just can't watch it; it's an awful show

Critics are scorning
Viewers ignoring
Show's lost it's mooring
Writers don't have a clue
Actors are bumbling
Plots are mind-numbing
Rumors are rumbling
Looks like this show is through


Star Trek has seen much better days
It's starting to decay
It's sad to watch this franchise fray
Now it seems old and gray
It once was worthy of much praise
It was a national craze
The current version's gone astray
It should just go away

Will they try some "T and A"?
Maybe Captain Archer's gay?
Have T'Pol hop in the hay
With Trip and Reed for a 3-way

Why can't they see that it's a crashing bore?
It's time to pack up; send it out the door

It is so boring
I sat there snoring
Should be a warning
That it's not fun to view
Trek fans are railing
Nielson's are trailing
Show's really ailing
Really too bad, boo-hoo

I'm through with this shit
I'm bored with all of it
It's never interesting; I think it's time for them to quit
Pathetic display
I watch it with dismay
The Network ought to say that "Enterprise" must go away


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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

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Mari D - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Right on, Paul! I hated "Enterprise" when it first came on and still hate it! It might be more interesting if Archer WAS gay. And that pregnant man plot--ewww! Didn't he get pregnant from kissing an alien? Great message for teens, right? Maybe if it was Archer's baby... That theme song makes me want to throw up. And don't get me started on T'Pol! They must have been looking at models instead of actresses for that part. But even though Jeri Ryan was probably picked for "Voyager" with her looks in mind, at least she was a better actor and her character was more interesting. Well, the TNG reruns are still on TV!
Adagio - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Whew...thought you were talking about 'Generations' there for awhile. Then I noticed that the Captain's names were not the same. A really good one, Paul! 5's
Johnny D - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS my friend. Gee. After reading both your parody and Mari D's comment I'm almost ashamed to admit that I like "Enterprise" - almost. No accounting for taste, I guess!
Birgitta - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I especially like this because I hate Star Trek.(My dad made us watch it every day for years,in a cold rickety house...(violins playing)..right-this isn't about me..) I truly appreciate well written parodies-this is a treat! Thx-TC
Birgitta - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
P.S. Just read this to my husband,who's a die hard trekkie-he LOVED it & said you're right on the money. : )
Adagio - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Ok, Johnny, since you spoke up about it, I'll admit to liking Enterprise, but now Generations has me hooked.
Johnny D - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Adagio. Like the Rocket Man once said, "It's lonely out in space". But in my personal opinion, "Star Trek, The Next Generation" is MUCH better than the current "Enterprise" ....... but that fact does not mean I don't like "Enterprise" .... I do like it.
Paul Robinson - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Mari D, Johnny D, Adagio, Birgitta - Glad you liked the parody. I liked all the "Star Trek" shows up UNTIL "Enterprise", which just seems to be completely lacking any of the fun or verve of the others. The Captain is just TOO ...uhh...uhh...uhh......what's the word? "Ordinary" or "Unexceptional" (actually, that seems to be two words - but for me that's really not too bad). Mari - Yeah, the pregnant guy one was really lame (and that was "Commander Trip" the Dip - isn't he kind of totally lame?). Anyway, I really TRIED to like it - gave it a couple of months - You know, part of the problem for someone who follows the "Trek" shows (not to the point of "Trekkie-dom" but I did know the general themes) is that this show takes place BEFORE the others and yet they keep running into Species and Planets that the later versions don't ever contact until much later on. So I had to beam off this show. Adagio - for my money "Generations" was by far the best of the whole lot. They followed the earlier version and remained constant to that show's history while developing characters and coming up with interesting story-lines.
Johnny D - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul - actually the ordinariness, unexceptionality, and lameness of the new "Enterprise" are among the reasons why I like it so much. I imagine that life aboard such a starship would be extremely routine, boring, and tedious most of the time. The writers of Enterprise, at least from my own POV, add just enough interest to keep it both entertaining and realistic.....again, at least for me. They probably would wish I could be one of their "Nielsen households", I guess!
Robot - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(waving arms) Danger, Paul Robinson! Danger! Warning!
Paul Robinson - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - I agree with your assessment that life on such a starship would indeed probably be as "dull as whaleshit" to borrow from a cousin of mine. However, I'm not sure I want to spend an hour each week watching the "Space/Time Con-Tedium" in full display. But I'm not really rabidly praying for any show cancellations, I just don't watch what I don't like...I really tried to like this show...couldn't manage it. Thanks. Robot - That's a different "Robinson" I think, (although maybe not).
MrMacphisto - March 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Yet another good one... My favorite lines are: "You see better acting done by characters in comic strips" and "Have TíPol hop in the hay With Trip and Reed for a 3-way"
Paul Robinson - March 26, 2004 - Report this comment
MrMacphisto - Thanks, those were my favorite lines in it, too. I'd never paid too much attention to RHCP's until this album (except for the single "Under the Bridge", a great piece). Apparently they got more melodic (which I like) than they had been, while still retaining a bit of an edge. I liked the entire "By The Way" album quite a bit. BTW, did you think there were any Shakespeare references in this album? In the original song here they go "On the day my best friend died I could not get my copper clean" and it made me think of MacBeth, unable to wash the blood off his hands. Some of the others had me thinking "Big Bill", too; in "Cabron" the theme reminds me of the Merchant of Venice asking if he is not like other men. I see that in that song. Other places in the album seem to pull from Shakespeare, too. Anyway, just wondering about that. I thought the possibility rather interesting...
The Lost Dude - April 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm glad that that little idiot who gives 1,1,1s hasn't found this parody yet. Try the Californication album, guys, it's a bit more rocky than BTW but that's no harm. It's like a Nirvana album after the death of Cobain.
Paul Robinson - April 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Lost Dude - Thanks for checking this one out. I've been meaning to take a listen to that earlier album for a while now.
The Lost Dude - April 23, 2004 - Report this comment
If By the Way is your favourite album, and you buy Californication, BtW will become joint favourite. Californication concentrates more on rock, and the non-single releases are sometimes as good as or better than the singles, try Velvet Glove, Parallel Universe and Easily for examples. I would say that it was a better album. To me, some tracks are better than BtW, but some are worse.
Paul Robinson - April 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Lost Dude - I was in Barnes & Noble Music the other day and listened to the audio clips from "Californication". I liked some of them quite a bit, but I didn't think the album was quite as solid throughout as "By The Way". Of course all I heard was a sound clip from each song, about 1 verse, maybe. Anyway, I put off buying it because I heard that the "Wherehouse" store just down the street was doing a close-out with big discounts and hoped to catch it there for cheap, but all they had in the RHCP section was "One Hot Minute" and they had umpteen copies of that. You know, what really blew my mind about "By The Way" was how incredibly good & tight their harmonies were. I didn't know too much about about the 'Peppers' to that point and that was completely different from what I thought they would be like. But I like the rock aspects of that album in combination with the. "By the way", in more than a few places I noticed what appear to be Shakespearean references in the "BTW" album, most notably in "This Is The Place" where he talks about being unable to clean his "outfit" (copper) on the day Hillel died. Brought to mind MacBeth - unable to clean the blood off the hands. I think there are more but my memory couldn't make the same type of direct connection in the other cases.
The Lost Dude - April 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, BtW has beautiful harmony in it. For example: Tear. Dosed. My favourite tracks on that album, in no order: (The main reason) Venice Queen (GRAND finale) Warm Tape (The chorus.) Don't Forget Me (The bassing and the 'sideways falling') By the Way - (The jekyll-hyde system works fine) Midnight - (The intro) Can't Stop - (The guitar work) Tear - (The harmony) Dosed - (The chorus) Throw away your TV - (The non-conformism and the guitar work) Zephyr... - (The chill-out mood.) Universally Speaking - (The retro style.) Minor Thing - ('choo got your bit-part, Mozart.....) This is the Place - (The whole song) On Mercury!! - (The ska beat and the energy. Amazing!) Cabron - (The country styling) I could die... - (The whole song.) Oh yeah. That's all of them. Darn! There are many hidden references to drugs in Chili Pepper some more subtle than others... Warm Tape refers 'angel's dust', Fortune Faded says 'Medicated state of mind, you'll find, is over-rated.' Avoid the Hot Minute. It's all 'meh' average apart from Warped, a haunting rock song, Aeroplane, a quite camp nursery rhyme, and My Friends, a beautiful ballad. OK, I don't remember the whole album, as I quickly stopped and turned the car around back to the music shop when I heard the track 'Pea' - where gay bassist Flea sings and just goes too far. Californication... Well, if you heard just one verse of each track, you're missing the main parts of this album - the choruses, guitar solos and endings. Yes, you're right, BtW is more full throughout, but I believe that Cali is sometimes better and sometimes worse. It also suits my guitar's style more. :-D Californication's tracks... here we go. Around the World - Amazing intro track with endless energy and an addictive riff. Parallel Universe - Nirvana beater. A great pace, explosive chorus and a perfect ending. Scar Tissue - A friendly little song, though quite repetitive it is still very good. OtherSide - What a chorus. What a rhythm. Hmmm... nice. Get on Top! - A really catchy song where Anthony spits his lyrics down the mic, an excellent chorus although it only occurs twice, formidable guitar work. Californication - The slow and venomous ballad that you probably know already. Easily - A great paced song with the same excellent guitar work. Ending, although long, is brilliant. Porcelain - What a pace breaker. But you'll learn to love this song. It's a slow and quiet lullaby... Only to be followed by... Emit Remmus - Or 'Summer Time' backwards. The repeated riff and lyrical melody doesn't break this song. The chorus, although styled like the verses, stands out with Anthony doing his sinister poison voice. I like Dirt - A fast little song, often accused of being a filler like the two above, but even with its low amount of lyrics, it's still a great guitar song. Velvet Glove - WHOAH. It's like an alternative Parallel Universe. Another Nirvana style song, this song's verse and chorus system works like a charm. Savior - Although slow and long, it's still a great song, ideal for those hot concerts where the guitarist is sweating all over the floor. It uses two different styles, quite undescribable really. Purple Stain - In two words, easy funky. It shows that you can make good music without singing! (Anthony talks tunelessly for most of this song but it sounds great!) The song's ending is a frantic guitars and drums session. Right on Time - It starts suddenly as if it's already 1 min through... Kiedis shouts some lyrics for a while until the cool harmonical chorus of 'It's right on time!' (repeat x infinity). Very shouty, IMO the worst song on the album, but the guitar work is impressive... Oh, it's too short also. Road Trippin' - It all ends with this nice acoustic song with no drums and no shouting, no outstanding chorus and no electricity... Beautiful music, this one. Elusive bonus track: Gong Li. I can't find this track on my copy, but I have been informed of its existence... somewhere. Well, I hope that you get this album now. It always alternates as my favourite (with By the Way). And, if you do, get writing some parodies!
Paul Robinson - April 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Lost Dude - Thanks for the Album Review, it was great! I love seeing someone really dig into the guts of an album with this type of interest and enthusiasm. Yeah, I'm gonna buy it in the next few days.
The Lost Dude - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Tell me what you think when you've got it.
Paul Robinson - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Lost Dude - will do, have been busy with Family business the last couple days. Just got home from court a little while ago - don't like going downtown, need to unwind.
Paul Robinson - May 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Lost Dude - I couldn't find the album at a couple stores! But I bought a couple of RHCP items: Live from Slane Castle (Ireland) and a "Greatest Hits" compilation that includes both a CD and a DVD of some of their videos. "Californication" is a really great song. I haven't watched to DVD Videos yet, but I liked the Live concert DVD from Slane. Thanks for the recommend, I'm still probably going to get the album when I can find it. I was trying to get it from Borders because I had an unused gift certificate good there - they didn't have it in stock. Weird....
The Lost Dude - May 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Whoah. You're unlucky. It is in most devoted music shops over here in the UK. Slaine Castle was their perfect gig. And you can also see if you like the Californication album tracks. Because I don't have any music channels on my TV, I have only seen a few videos. Can't Stop's video is so funny.
Paul Robinson - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Lost dude - missed your comment on May 8th, sorry. Really like the "Californication" track. Excellent. Also really like the "Can't Stop" video, real fun. I do mostly like the "Californication" tracks that they do on "Live At Slane Castle" That's a really excellent live album if you haven't seen it. I'm still going to probably buy the "Californication" CD, but maybe not for a little while. I've got a couple other music purchases I want to make ahead of that and I have a pretty good selection now of RHCP stuff that I really like to tide me over. Thanks for the tips & reviews on that CD. I appreciate your time and enthusiasm. I get that way myself when I like something a lot. Definitely perks my interest.
Know 1 can hear you dream - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm with Macphisto on the favorite bits. Do you know what the first, tossed away, idea for the new series was? (It seems much better now in retrospect). Set after Voyager and at the curb of he galaxy 1-2 years away from Earth at maximum warp, an exchange program ship with a (mostly) Starfleet Academy Senior Year crew being all alone with no help from home (for the first 1-2 seasons) being drawn into "complications" when their host race/union (think european union allegory here) are attacked by powerfull new enemies from outside the galaxy. Apparently they feared that it would risk being to much of some sort of ST: 90210, and when with the pre-Kirk idea instead. Bad move, I'd say.
Paul Robinson - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Know 1 - Thanks for stopping in - Yes, those were my favorites, too, for the most part. Hmmm...that "alternative" series sounds more interesting than the one they chose to go with, but, then again, it would be HARD NOT to be more interesting than what they chose to go with, wouldn't it? Actually, ST: 90210, while a puerile idea, would be at least as entertaining as the actual series as it stands now. Just think - Captain Brandon Walsh?? or maybe whathisface - Luke Perry's character, uhhh...DYLAN!! yeah, The moody dude of the galaxy, barely able to rise up from his bunk for another day of disregarding Prime Directives and screwing up...And the Bimbettes of Space!!! It coulda been a big hit, yah!!
Know 1 can hear you dream - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
It can still be! Enterprise won't run forever. Roumours have it that unless it lifts in the ratings during next season there won't be another. But the franchise is too strong to kill. I guess that after the last two excellent seasons of Voyager where Janeway almost singlehandedly kicked Borg-butt they had problems coming up with a new powerful enough enemy for a new series. And they had probably stretched CGI as far as they could or a television series could afford at that point. Also, they wasted the coolest space ship design ever away on that other Roddenberry-related series Andromeda. As far as I know it's not specifically stated that series does NOT take place in a distant future far beyond Voyager so I guess that maybe they thought they could eat the cake and have it too. Result: Two mediocre series instead of one good. :-(
Paul Robinson - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Know 1 - Or maybe "O.G" ("Outer Galaxy", or something like that). Spoiled rich kids travel through space and "hook up" with each other at the drop of a Dilithium Crystal for meaningless, yet titillating sex romps on each episode while basically ignoring all sorts of interesting and fascinating phenomena and the highly intelligent and super-evolved creatures that inhabit that Galaxy who would really like to help the Earth/Federation kids do some fantastic stuff, it only they could somehow get them to pay attention...Or perhaps Paris & Nicole could just do "The Simple Life On Mars & The Stars", instead...
MIKE - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment

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