Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Hey There Maria"

Original Song Title:

"Hey There Delilah"

Original Performer:

Plain White Ts

Parody Song Title:

"Hey There Maria"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

The Plain White Ts could have sung about a different girl, but didn't for reasons I go into...

Check out my recording at Soundclick.com!
Hey there, Maria
I'd like to thank you much for last night
'cause four hour sex marathons
They are my favorite pastime
So divine...
When we crossed the finish line
I felt all right

Days since I've seen ya
And I'm tossing and I'm turning
But it's not because I'm lonely
It's because my pee-pee's burning!
Oh this sucks...
There is an aching in my nuts
I'm making pus

Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Oh... girl what'd you do to me?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Hope... it's not an STD...
Crotch it wasn't clean...

Need panacea
To fight off this bad infection
And in hindsight I can say that
I should have used "pro"-tection
For my wood...
It seems pulling out did no good
I thought it would

Drank some tequila
'cause I'm dealing with this damn pain
I just heard back from the doctor's
the results... of my Gram Stain:
It's positive...
I wonder if I'm gonna live...
Say what gives?

Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Oh... girl what'd you do to me?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
No... another STD...

A thousand bucks was very steep
Considering that I can't sleep
On my stomach is one place I cannot lay...
There's one more thing that you must know
And I will tell you when I go
For now there's only one thing I can say...
Maria, you should go get checked
I think you have a vage defect!
My world will never ever be the same...
And you're to blame.....

It's gonorrhea
I have ep-i-did-y-mitis
Big Jim and the Twins are thinking
that you've given it to spite us
Yes, it's true...
You know it's all because of you...
You really know how to make us blue...
"Pay Less Maria": no virtue...
Risk Avenue...


Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Oh... girl what'd you do to me?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
No... another STD...
Crotch it wasn't clean...

Woe ...
2007+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   3
 0
 1
 
 5   16
 18
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
That was awesome! 5s
alvin - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
pretty catchy
John Barry - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Extra credit for Gram Stain.
AFW - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Looks like Maria gets around
stuart mcarthur - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Big Jim and the twins!! LOL Jack - and the pronunciation of Maria suggests Maria Carey, so NICE work Big Jim! - some very funny lines, Jack, and great idea for this soon-to-be top ten amiright parody OS (I'm tipping) - 555
MrMacphisto - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Red, this is one of your best and easily the best of today... LMAO
John Jenkins - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Pay less, Maria. Good stuff, Red Ant.
Kristof Robertson - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Looks like you got screwed twice, Jack! Uncomfortably wonderful. 555
Red Ant - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Jack, Alvin, John, AFW, Stu, Macphisto, John and Kristof!

John: I'm glad I took the time to include it!

AFW: Her mother was probably Runaround Sue that Dion sang about all those years ago...

Stu: Thanks, mate. I've never heard Mariah's name pronounced with an "e" sound though. TOS has ~24 parodies now at AmiRight. I don't think this one is going to make 40 any time soon like "You're Beautiful" did.

Macphisto: Kind words, dude. This song had 80 plays at Soundclick yesterday (its first full day there), which is double my previous high. I estimate that girls named Maria now have a 0.05% less chance of getting laid (or getting paid, lol).

Kristof: I was half expecting to be screwed at the starting gate: I was sure Malcolm had already beaten me to this idea for this song, but, alas, he hadn't. Good thing this parody is a work of fiction, otherwise the missus would be *quite* upset. :D
stuart mcarthur - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
No, even here we pronounce Mariah with a hard "i" sound, but I decided to read this parody pronouncing Maria with a hard "I" sound too, to rhyme with Delilah, which is why I suggested it was written about Mariah Carey.

Even here, Maria usually has an "e" sound, but it can have an "i" sound, as in "They Call The Wind Maria", so I chose that pronunciation just for the benefit of the delilah rhyme
Red Ant - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Ah, I see! I was thinking it was a dialect thing. Pronouncing Maria the way you read it kinda throws off the rhyming in the following title lines, though "gone-awry-ya" would be an interesting play on "gonorrhea". =)
Purrl - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
"gone-awry-ya"...A superb double-entendre. I like this..this...Maria chick 555 shots of penicillin!
Peter Andersson - November 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Free sex means that you have to go to the free clinic I guess...
Red Ant - November 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Purrl and Peter. I did this song at karaoke last Friday night... could have gone better with a male DJ perhaps... and a crowd of more than 3 people.
Smeg And The Heads - December 06, 2007 - Report this comment
DKTOS, I'm afraid. But I enjoyed the read, it was very funny.
Peter Andersson - December 09, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Here's your setup for a possible part 2:

Hey there, Jack Fletcher
Ma like to thank you much for last night
sex in darkness marathons
They are her favorite pastime
Yes we swapt
And now I know it was inapt...
Max Power - December 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Good
littleCupCakes - December 13, 2007 - Report this comment
555: even though I feel a bit 'saddle sore'!
Agrimorfee - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) An interesting twist...sometimes the title is the least important part of a parody. Very funny!
Matthias - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
- Originality: (C): Bob River's did a parody about this same topic using the same song. It's the top song on this page: (http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/tunesbydate.asp). You probably didn't know about this song, but sadly I'll have to mark off points on originality, because of this. -Pacing: (B+): Some of the lines you sung sounded kind of stressed against the original song, but overall it was a pretty good turn out. -Comedy: (C): I usually love your parodies, but this fell under your section of "gross" parodies that I usually stay away from in my book. -Overall: (C): I've read plenty of Red Ant parodies to know that your stuff usually kicks ass, this parody however wasn't one of my favorites by you, it just didn't stand out among the rest of the litter, it was a pretty average parody.
Red Ant - December 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks to Smeg, Peter, Max, Cupcakes, Aggy and Matthias!

Matt: You are correct in that I was unaware of Bob River's parody. I don't listen to Bob River's because, in all honesty, he is a half-assed parodist. The fact that he only did 3 verses and an abbreviated bridge to a relatively short song (this one) proves it. While I respect your opinion, I totally disagree about the 'originality' part - it is possible for two (or more) people to come up with similar ideas independent of one another - see the 6 parodies of "Hey Aunt Jemima" here to this song.

Peter: I like the "Maria's Response" version, but I wouldn't want to be unfavorably compared to Spaff's parody of this same song lest I be considered unoriginal...
Guy - December 23, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM-NOV) Maria-cul-ous cure for your dip-whizzy.

RA: Hey doc it only hurts when I whiz.
Doc: Gee Whiz.
Smeg And The Heads - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Comment above
Jason - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very good, but who the hell is Maria?!
stuart mcarthur - December 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) even better on second reading, Jack - beautiful pacing, and I loved the catchline idea "Oh... girl what'd you give to me?" - the rest of your lines build around that very cleverly
bobpiecheese - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was so perfectly paced that I can set aside the 'EW' factor that set in once I read the first few lines.
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) My comment as a written parody was that while my opinion does differ with Matthias, I think that I actually enjoyed the recording a bit more than the written version, but still a good write.
Mikey Squirrel - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- Something tells me you should stay away from this Maria girl. Very funny and well done, Ant.
Kristof Robertson - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. I'm a sucker for sexual misadventure parodies, and this was a welcome addition to that canon.
Phil Alexander - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Hmm... thought I'd commented here already.. this OS is definitely becoming an amiright staple - just before this one came out, I was thinking of a "She's there: Maria" as a face-of-the-virgin-in-a-spring-roll parody (if you see what I mean), then I read this and kind of got distracted.
Jeff Reuben - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
I guess I was bound to catch this sometime :) I absolutely hate the OS, so I'm glad to have some new lyrics to sing when I hear it.
Jack Wilson - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
See above!
Red Ant - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey thanks everybody. Jason: just some girl named "Maria".

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/plainwhitets23.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1732