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Song Parodies -> "She Hugs a Lot"

Original Song Title:

"She Loves Me Not"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Papa Roach

Parody Song Title:

"She Hugs a Lot"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him and *CRACK*
When I see her, I-I need to run and hide
You would empathise if you knew why I'm feelin' drea-ead
Sure, she may seem ni-ice, wouldn't be a big lie
She'd be best-friend bait or more, but I would end up dea-ead
My visitation just gives her temptation
To follow through o-on her annoyin' inclination

You should kno-ow I need ai-air
Don't dese-erve this, I swear
Fightin' for my life, squeezes like a vice
She hugs a lo-o-ot, hugs a lot
Though that may sound nice, hers are way too tight
She hugs a lo-o-ot, hugs a lot

It's more than I can ba-are when she wants to share
Her friendship and care as all my air goes awa-ay
Hard for me to sa-ay "Could you stop it, May?"
When my vertebrae are bein' smooshed into my lu-ungs
This is why, of la-ate, I go for handshakes
They don't crush my fingers like her hugs do to my shou-oulders

She should kno-ow I need ai-air
Don't dese-erve this, I swear
Now I'm stuck inside her big arms, might die
She hugs a lo-o-ot, hugs a lot
And although I writhe, she turns a blind eye
She hugs a lo-o-ot, takes my ai-air
Really hu-urts

Ev'ry time, cracks my spine
Sometimes fixin' damage from the last damn time
But I'd be a dick
If I yelled "Bitch, you're killin' me!"
Because after her crushin' squeeze
She's as sweet as can be
You should see her
Helpin' me with my homework
Playin' Mario with me, it would hurt
To tell her her hugs aren't great
I'd feel ashamed
And so I suffer the squeezin' ev'ry day
So if you could help me out
Let her down gently 'fore my guts pour out

We all kno-ow folks need ai-air
Don't dese-erve this, I swear
She closes her eyes, doesn't see me writhe
She hugs a lo-o-ot, hugs a lot
Love to see her twice a day, but I cry
She hugs a lo-o-ot, hugs a lot
Need my air, need my air, need my air
Really hu-urts
Cause she ca-a-a-a-ares
She hugs a lo-o-ot, hugs a lo-o-ot

Here's hoping the "let her down gently" plan works, though you know what they said about the best laid plans of mice and men...

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Max Power - October 16, 2016 - Report this comment
I hate to imagine how she might have look like if she's that strong.
Abbott Skelding - October 18, 2016 - Report this comment
Dude, I love hugs. I think I could take a hug from this main chara-OH GOD THAT'S TOO TIGHT!!! Nicely done!
Blaydeman - October 19, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This was a blast! The internal rhyming was fantastic and I got a lot of laughs out of this. Kind of a dark die (especially after you read that prologue), but fun nonetheless.
Matthias - October 19, 2016 - Report this comment
His name is George and I'll hug him and squeeze him and give T-Cop fives! Well done!

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