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Song Parodies -> "Lame Retort"

Original Song Title:

"Last Resort"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Papa Roach

Parody Song Title:

"Lame Retort"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Dude's insults are kinda weak, so Other Dude decides to give him some pointers. Enjoy!
"Your face resembles pizza"
Man, that's a lame retort
No sensation I'm feeling
Rage or disgust from the insults you're bringing
Work on your lame retorts

"Your moustache looks like Nietzsche's"
Slightly less lame retort
I'm not ragin', not seeing
Any chance of you sending my ass reeling
The point of this game is to hurt feelings
Need to work on your range of slights
Cause right now they're rather light
"I'm pretty sure you like
Wearing lacy undies, right"
There's no malice in your words tonight

Said you don't wanna fight, rather make slights
And when folks deserve them, that's all right
But all your slights are a tad shite
Keep on practicin' till they're all tight

"You're not smart at all, in fact, you're quite thick"
Once again, that's lame, lacking in venom and wit
You need to find the hatred that lies deep within
The true loathing you have for this git
You need to fling barbs so that he'll suffer
No cheap cracks about what you've heard 'bout his mother
"I've heard your weiner's comparable to a pencil"
Better, but you need to make him tremble

I suggest that you write any mean lines
That you can think of before it's time
Practice, rewrite any bad lines
Have a repertoire of vicious jibes
Keep them contrite, dripping with spite
"Your breath stinks" you're not try-y-ying
Keep try-y-ying, keep wri-i-iting
Keep ty-y-yping, keep trying
"You wear girls' socks" that diss is lame

"I think you're such a diva"
Try again, lame retort
Devastation not feeling
Nothing you say will send enemies fleeing
Don't be a twonk, stop being shite
Your insults suck, there's no "might"
If you take my advice
And work on your range of slights
Won't need to get in physical fights

What you've said has no bite, not even mild
Under "awful"'s where it'll be filed
At this all night, but you're still shite
"I don't think that you could fly a kite"
That could be fine with some work, mind
So keep at it, keep try-y-ying
I've talked to you enough today

Light's turned o-off
Mirror's away
Bye, me, goo-ood night

ZOMG DUDE AND OTHER DUDE WERE THE SAME DUDE TOTAL FIGHT CLUB. If you're going "Dude, spoilers", sorry but the film's been out for 16 years (the novel for 19) and it's one of those films most known for the twist, so I say to thee "meh".

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Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 8

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