Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Afraid of Shoes"

Original Song Title:

"The Way You Move"

Original Performer:

OutKast ft. Sleepy Brown

Parody Song Title:

"Afraid of Shoes"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

In which a random is afraid of shorts. Wait, no, socks. Shirts? Something titular...
Doom, doom, doom, ha, ha

Constantly panic when I go out, bud
I'm never relaxin', can't stand it, I'm collapsin'
Seems random? Not at all
There's a specific reason why my skin is blanchin'
It ain't the assholes in traffic; spiders? Just smash 'em
Tick, tick, tock, clocks don't make me frazzled
Whether it's because I'm totally late
Or the concept of a clock, not scared of planks, Frank
Not wiggin' at pigeons or the cosmos unrav'llin'
Might happen, we'd be shit out of luck, so can't panic
Truth, yes, I'm avoidin' that
Just the sound of the word makes me crap in my pants
Too much information? I meant it, mate
I don't wanna F-A-C-E, face
My pathetic problem, want to escape
I don't wanna F-A-C-E, face

See, I'm afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'm quite afrai-aid of shoe-oes, whoo-ooh-ooh
Really afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah)
Wanna escape those Nikes, mate (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Yes, I'm afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'm so afrai-aid of shoe-oes, whoo-ooh-ooh
Super afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah)
Wanna escape those Reeboks, mate (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Not one pause of silence, laugh uproariously
I look left and then right, shoes are lookin' at me
And when I'm lookin' at them, their-their laces wag more
Tauntin' me with strangulation, that's somethin' I abhor
Especially cause they hurt
Shoes hurt, from big boots to the slippers of a young girl
Whether they're aimed at my cheeks
Or the spot between my legs, I freak at that, see
Call me a chicken, but they've got a tongue within 'em
I don't want them, hate them, fear them, loathe them
Always make me shiver, shake and quiver when I browse through the op-shop
Even high heels make me wail
Those spikes may end up in my eyes, oh hell
You're still not listenin' to me, I can tell
On the floor laughin', I'd look down but I'd pale at your Chacos

See, I'm afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'm quite afrai-aid of shoe-oes, whoo-ooh-ooh
Really afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah)
Wanna escape those Pumas, mate (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Yes, I'm afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'm so afrai-aid of shoe-oes, whoo-ooh-ooh
Super afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah)
Wanna escape those ugg boots, mate (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

No-ot crazy, je-erk, you should sto-op it
Do-on't start wavin' you-our Vans arou-ound me
See my eyes (see my eyes) go so wide
You're drivin' me-e out my mind (out of my mi-ind)
Ma-adelines (ooh-ooh, scary)
If I cou-ould I-I would burn a-all the shoe-oe-oes, bu-uddy
Ooh-ooh, they're unsi-ightly, way too pri-icey (ah)
Don't bring those crocs nea-ear me-e-e, buddy, whoo (ah-ah-ah)

See, I'm afrai-aid of shoe-oes (Converse, they're spooky shoe-oes) (ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'm quite afrai-aid of shoe-oes, whoo-ooh-ooh (ooh, Dr. Martens, sca-ary)
Really afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah)
Wanna escape those Merrels, mate (oh-oh-oh, ooh) (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Yes, I'm afrai-aid of shoe-oes (scared of those Georgia Boo-oots) (ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'm so afrai-aid of shoe-oes, whoo-ooh-ooh (ooh, Birkenstocks are sca-ary)
Super afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah)
Wanna escape those Danskos, mate (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
See, I'm afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'm quite afrai-aid of shoe-oes, whoo-ooh-ooh
Really afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah)
Wanna escape those Skechers, mate (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Yes, I'm afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah-ah-ah-ah)
I'm so afrai-aid of shoe-oes, whoo-ooh-ooh
Super afrai-aid of shoe-oes (ah)
Wanna escape those damn Nurse Mates (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

I took all those shoe brands from a random picture from Google, so I don't know how recognisable they are. I don't my shoe brands, they're all just "formal shoes", "sneakers", "slippers" and "thongs" to me. That's thong as in flip-flop, not g-string. Speaking of Australianisms, "op-shop" is what we call a "thrift shop". It's short for "opportunity shop", you see. Fun fact!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   6
 5
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - May 03, 2017 - Report this comment
I did a bit of 'net surfing, and was surprised to find there is no listed phobia for shoes, but there is vestiphobia (fear of clothes) and linonophobia (fear of string, which compels certain sufferers to use only slip-ons). The parody did foot the bill (ha) on this unknown topic.
Matthias - May 10, 2017 - Report this comment
Highly original concept and a great execution! I love this OS too! OutKast is such a fun group!
Max Power - May 15, 2017 - Report this comment
Way to kick it.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/outkastftsleepybrown0.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 150