My baby plays chess with clowns
Because she likes their noses
And their stupid jokes
What does she see in them
That no one else can see, because she's very strange
I tried to fight the carnies
But the Big Boss Bozo's killing me with pies
Thank God that I'm not dead
Because the clowns intend
To turn my nose bright red

Carnies...carnies
Carnies...carnies
Carnies...carnies
Carnies...carnies

You think it's funny
Oh, it sure ain't funny
When your nose is getting runny
'Cause it's in a red ball
My girlfriend and them
Oh they get together
I want them to be separate- I'll get police involved
If they go get their "fire truck of fun"
Then I'll get
Then I'll get
Then I'll get
Then I'll get
Then I'll get (I'll get, I'll get)
A loaded machine gun
And, BANG (x17)
I know they can't be happy now...

Carnies...carnies
Carnies...carnies
Carnies...carnies
Carnies...carnies

Hey! Alright now!
Hey Coulrophobics! (Yeah!)
Now what's worse than anal examinations? (damn clowns!)
I can't hear ya! I say, what's worse than anal exams? (damn clowns!)
Alright! (15x)

Hey ladies! (Yeah!)
Now don't go fooling around with those stupid clowns, Ya hear? (Yeah!)
Now we're going to learn what to do when a clown's near you! Ready? (Yeah!)
Now hit 'em, then run!
Hit 'em, then run!
H-H-hit 'em, then run!
H-hit 'em, then run!
Hit 'em cause it's just for fun!
Hit 'em then run!
Hit 'em, then run!
H-H-hit 'em, then run!
H-hit 'em, and run!
Hit 'em cause it's really fun!

Carnies...carnies
Carnies...carnies
Carnies...carnies
Carnies...carnies