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Song Parodies -> "These Springs Are Trash"

Original Song Title:

"No Strings Attached"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"These Springs Are Trash"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This one is for Peter Anderson's One Week Notice challenge (Week 26) this time hosted once again by me! Matthias! My last song was about Spring, This song is about Springs, Next song? Hopefully nothing to do with springs haha
Buddy, This bed's a crappy one...
Oh oh oh oh yeah
Hey yeah!

You see.... The springs, duct tape and screws?!
I'm in pain when it's time to snooooooooze
I can't sleep! You're annoyed by my yawns!
Tossing through the night like I've slept on stoooooones

Take it from meeeeeeeee!
Take this mattress to be burned
A Tempurpedic I've eaaaaaaaaaarned
Take it from meeeeeeeee!
Make sure you strap on gloves
You'll need some gloves to give it a hard shooooooove
Buddy, This bed's a crappy one!
It's been years since I've been laid since this cot sucks!
And it blows since I need it to crash!
Find my sleep number on that chart!
These springs are trash!

Repair my bedroom! I'm filled with such tension!
When I curl up for Z's (When I curl up for Z's)
So I'm splayed on the ground
Right next to my hound
This carpet's soothing while I sleep

Take it from meeeeeee!
It's a cushion that I've spurned!
Springs punctured my thighs, That huuuuuuurt!
Take it from meeeeeeee!
Tried to beat it with a club
Even that club won't fix all the weird lumps! Yeah!
Buddy, This bed's a crappy one! (Buddy, This bed's a crappy one!)
You can dump it in a lake or blow it up! (Or blow it up!)
When I doze it's a pain in the ass! (Pain in the ass!)
Time to fill my shopping cart! (Shopping cart!)
These springs are trash!

Take it from meeeeeeeeeee!
Ditch this futon with the worms
Hate it when each night I squuuuuuirm!
Take it from meeeeeeeeeee!
This padding needs more fluff
Without that fluff it makes every nap rough!
This Serta shanks me with a lance it seems! (Gahhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh)

I'm bruised (Owie!) When I'm stabbed I scream
Puts... a... damper on my dreams (Damper on my dreams)
This bunk's... Such a mess to meeeeeeeeeeeee!

Buddy, This bed's a crappy one! (Buddy, This bed's a crappy one!)
Slumber on these razor blades ain't tons of fun! (Slumber on these razor blades)
Latex foam might help fix my aching back! (My back is hurting!)
Besides this mattress smells like farts... (It smells like farts!)
These springs are trash!

Buddy, This bed's a crappy one! (Buddy, This bed's a crappy one!)
Rather rest with live grenades this decor's shun! (Rather rest with live grenades)
Spend the dough on a good bed that's not smashed (Go spend the money!)
So sick of snuggling with darts! (Sick of snuggling with darts!)
These springs are trash!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - March 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Goodness me, I need to reread this, very TCOP-ish in its style and content. Fave line right now is "This Serta shanks me with a lance it seems".
Claude Prez - March 02, 2018 - Report this comment
So jarring to go from the first boy band (Beatles) to the worst (all the others, starting with this one haha). Anyway, lots of fun here, and the "shanks me with a lance" line stuck out for me because we live in a time where we all know way more about celebrities than we'd really like to (Lance Bass is the gay one, right?) This looks difficult, glad I didn't attempt it but you did a great job.
Peter Andersson - March 02, 2018 - Report this comment
With such a bumpy and un-rhytmic OS I'm not too surprised to see a subject like this. :-)

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