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Song Parodies -> "Followed by Gnomes"

Original Song Title:

"Follow You Home"

Original Performer:

Nickelback

Parody Song Title:

"Followed by Gnomes"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

This one started way back as an idea for a Halloween song, now after a long hiatus it has ended up somewhere between a list song and a fairytale basher. Admittedly not my best work but if you buy the concept of a fairy tale creatures serial killer in backlash trouble it will make some sort of sense, or so I hope.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg_odY57bLY
I've put Zombies back in graves
And I've shot Gargoyles to the ground
And I've smashed Fairies in the head
And Easter Bunnies half to death
And none could ever track me down
And I've cleaned Santa out of ho-es
And driven Boogeymen insane
And I've bit Donner in the leg
And caused a mute Golem to beg
And swung a chain at Leatherface

And I've stayed ahead
But now I'm followed by Gnomes

And I can't take five…
Cos they're worse than all my Exes
Worse than PMS in Teens
Like a douchebag date with Satan
And an Ogre that is green
Worse than beer cans full of mace
Or probed by fingers of ETs
Worse than Salesmen on the phone I'm…
I'm now followed by Gnomes
I'm now followed by Gnomes

I've nailed Succubi to walls
And spun Medusa's head around
Messed up Sleeping Beauty's bed
And I've chased Hobbits 'til they're dead
And Humpty Dumpty I've pushed down
I've made White Doves rest in peace…es
Lizzy Borden I have hacked
And put an end to Poltergeists
And shot Santa down from height
And Rudolph's nose I've painted black

And I've stayed ahead
But now I'm followed by Gnomes

And I can't take five…
Cos they're mean like drunken Rednecks
Worse than Boyband songs for Tweens
Worse than donkeys hot for matin'
In Al-Qaida caves unseen
Like a Klingon with a phaser
And an itching STD
Like a Macarena dial tone…
I'm now followed by Gnomes
I'm now followed by Gnomes

I've drowned Kraken in a wave
And I've tripped Bigfoot to the ground
I've slaughtered Earworms in my head
And of them Elves there are none left
Hell Hounds could never sniff me down

But I can't take five…
Cos they're the race I couldn't axe
They are the miners all too mean
Like a fumble in last quarter
Now the game has turned on me
Like a campus guard with tasers
Like a poked hive killer bees
Like the North Pole under ozone…
I'm now hunted by Gnomes
I'm now hunted by Gnomes
I'm now hunted by Gnomes
I'm now hunted by Gnomes
I'm now hunted by Gnomes
© Peter Andersson.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - May 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Verrry interesting stuff, Peter... love your wide referential span here, from TV to Tolkein, 'Qaida to Kraken and things green to things 'tween...
Max Power - February 13, 2010 - Report this comment
You can take 5, three of them in fact.
Chris Bodily TM - February 16, 2010 - Report this comment
(Wild Card) Wow. DKTOS, but that was wonderfully random. Some references flew over my head, but the ones I got were hilaroius! 555
aGRIMORFEE - February 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Started off kinda bland with same-word line endings, b ut got more uproarious as it continued, with that great non-sequiturial bridge of "bad:" things. Funny stuff Peter.
Abbott Skelding - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
(Wild Card)- Very nice job! Did a good job matching the original.
Medemia - February 28, 2010 - Report this comment
Van Helsing would be proud. You should be fine as long as you stay ahead of the Priceline mascot -- no, not William Shatner.
Ethan Mawyer - February 28, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm in agreement with Agri again...seemed a bit lazy in the beginning but some nice lines in here. Painting Rudolph's nose black would've been particularly impressive if done while airborne.
Jack Wilson - February 28, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job! 5a
Below Average Dave - February 28, 2010 - Report this comment
Not bad, I have a soft spot for Gnome parodies, so fun idea to a fun OS
Matthias - February 28, 2010 - Report this comment
At least they're not nude and in Tampa (only Dave has to worry about that one).
Mark Scotti - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTY) I'm following the voting with fives...
Jeff Reuben - March 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Some funny lines, like the one about the Easter Bunny. I enjoyed this.
Arwen - March 10, 2010 - Report this comment
"And of them Elves there are none left."

THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!!! ; ) Lots of funny lines...traditional horrors mixed with boy bands and the Macarena...loved it! Plus, anyone who can take on Santa twice...deserves major props...
Invisible Boy - March 31, 2010 - Report this comment
There's no place like Gnome.
Lot's of great images. The "Macarena ringtone made my WOL (wince out loud)
DJ Blaze - April 11, 2010 - Report this comment
This is the epitome of mythical creature parodies. 555
Below Average Dave - April 11, 2010 - Report this comment
I love the inclusion of all the other fantasy characters. . .this parody gets high nods from me and I still love gnomes
mike - December 31, 2010 - Report this comment
okay this is the l@st day od 2010 oops i repe@t thi$ is the la$t day od 2010 gott@ go pe@ce

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