I've put Zombies back in graves
And I've shot Gargoyles to the ground
And I've smashed Fairies in the head
And Easter Bunnies half to death
And none could ever track me down
And I've cleaned Santa out of ho-es
And driven Boogeymen insane
And I've bit Donner in the leg
And caused a mute Golem to beg
And swung a chain at Leatherface

And I've stayed ahead
But now I'm followed by Gnomes

And I can't take five…
Cos they're worse than all my Exes
Worse than PMS in Teens
Like a douchebag date with Satan
And an Ogre that is green
Worse than beer cans full of mace
Or probed by fingers of ETs
Worse than Salesmen on the phone I'm…
I'm now followed by Gnomes
I'm now followed by Gnomes

I've nailed Succubi to walls
And spun Medusa's head around
Messed up Sleeping Beauty's bed
And I've chased Hobbits 'til they're dead
And Humpty Dumpty I've pushed down
I've made White Doves rest in peace…es
Lizzy Borden I have hacked
And put an end to Poltergeists
And shot Santa down from height
And Rudolph's nose I've painted black

And I've stayed ahead
But now I'm followed by Gnomes

And I can't take five…
Cos they're mean like drunken Rednecks
Worse than Boyband songs for Tweens
Worse than donkeys hot for matin'
In Al-Qaida caves unseen
Like a Klingon with a phaser
And an itching STD
Like a Macarena dial tone…
I'm now followed by Gnomes
I'm now followed by Gnomes

I've drowned Kraken in a wave
And I've tripped Bigfoot to the ground
I've slaughtered Earworms in my head
And of them Elves there are none left
Hell Hounds could never sniff me down

But I can't take five…
Cos they're the race I couldn't axe
They are the miners all too mean
Like a fumble in last quarter
Now the game has turned on me
Like a campus guard with tasers
Like a poked hive killer bees
Like the North Pole under ozone…
I'm now hunted by Gnomes
I'm now hunted by Gnomes
I'm now hunted by Gnomes
I'm now hunted by Gnomes
I'm now hunted by Gnomes