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Song Parodies -> "Got Bitten"

Original Song Title:

"Unwritten"

Original Performer:

Natasha Bedingfield

Parody Song Title:

"Got Bitten"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

This one's been in the works for months. Though most of those months it was untouched because I was either busy, lazy, or both.
My arse got bitten
By every type
Of things that bite
A painful feeling
That pulses like mad
It drives me mad

Staring at the doctor before me
"Take your pants off - ooh, that's painful"
So it goes, examine all my wounds
Just on my behind
Reaching for something in his pocket
So sharp I can almost feel it
Though it's not yet on my skin

See the bites on my skin
No one else has been hurt this bad
Only I've suffered this shit
Really hurts, really hurts
They nearly tore off my lips
Drenched my pants in urine - soakin'
Sev'ral places torn wide open
Monday is when this crap happened
When all of me got bitten
Ow
Oh, oh

Some bits are missin'
One of my eyes
Pieces of my thighs
Ears are in bits 'n'
Nose hangs off my face
Thread of skin makes it stay, oh

Staring at me, Dr. Nick, he thinks
Thinking of a diagnosis
I'd say "mauled-by-mammals-iosis"
Just a thought of mine
Yeah, it's a mouthful, but it does work
Enough of my thought processes
I am still bleeding, you jerk!

A band-aid on my skin
Ain't enough to heal all my wounds
Better just to seal me in
A big cast, a big cast
And now I can't feel my hips
Cover me in strips of cotton
Soaked in that plaster of paris
Don't think that I can move again

Got an itch on my skin
Someone else may scratch it for me
Moving my arms hurts a bit
Just a bit, scream "oh shit"
Dog teeth damn tore through my hips
Super painful as it happened
Tore the sinew-things wide open
I'm not sure what to call those things
That, like the rest, got bitten
Oh, oh

(Staring at the TV above him
Maybe looking out the window
Let the sun just barely show itself
Behind the damn clouds
Reading a book 'bout canine training
To help when he's out in six months)
Where is the part on dog teeth?

Plaster stuff on my skin
No one has been mauled this badly
Only me, or so they say
Would they lie? Would they lie?
Wait, my ears were badly bit
Can't quite heard what does get spoken
Dog did quite a number on 'em
That day was quite a painful one

Feeling pain through my skin
I should not have pissed off Fido
Cause that mutt has lots of friends
Nasty friends, nasty friends
Won't throw a ball at his bits
What I mean just can't be spoken
This don't mean that I am chicken
Just can't move my jaw, it stings
It, like the rest, was bitten
It, like the rest, was bitten
It, like the rest, was bitten
Ow, ow, ow, ow
Ow, ow, ow, ow
I just had to add 'Fido', 'ow', 'paris' and 'arse' to Firefox's dictionary. This irritates me.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - April 12, 2010 - Report this comment
This parody might have been a pain in the ass to write about a pain in the ass but wasn't a pain in the ass to read about a pain in the ass.
Phil N - April 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Hilarious! 5's
Mark Scotti - May 25, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC) 'Bitingly" funny!!
Agrimorfee - May 28, 2010 - Report this comment
Taking the time to work on it paid off for you here. This was a little confusing at first, but I got it as it progressed,,,very oirginal, and the payoff was why he got bit in the (song's) end!
Below Average Dave - June 01, 2010 - Report this comment
This one is a very painful parody, again the eyes, always the eyes--always makes mine water when I read eyes, owwwww. . .you had some rhyming issues (particularly rhyming mad with mad) but overall not bad, I'd say a 555 parody overall in my book.
Abbott Skelding - June 07, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC- Nice work! Great title sub and some very funny lines in there!
Andria - June 08, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC G & H) One of my favorite 2000s OSes here (the fact that the brand of hair-care products I use has utilized part of it as a jingle in the last few years doesn't hurt either), well-executed, and pain is always a good parody subject. 5s.
Christie Marie M - June 12, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC G/H) Ditto on Matt's comment on pain in the a$$. Wow, must be a really painful experience. And I thought that the bark is worse than its bite! But turns out that the bite is actually worse than the bark, from what I read from your parody! Your songs got a lot of bite, that's for sure! Sink your teeth into some 5's!
Warren Baker - June 13, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC G/H) All I can say is, I'm glad I have a cat! Nice and painful. Does that make me a sadist? Enjoyed it very much.
Jeff Reuben - June 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Must be mosquito season! Very good title for your song, I was waiting for a line about a date but that might have been over the top...or over the bottom :-) Funny song, I enjoyed it a lot.
DJ Blaze - June 14, 2010 - Report this comment
This parody used Bite! It's super effective! DJ Blaze fainted! Conqueror gained 555 experience points!

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