It's a lot to ask
I got myself home from work and
I want to drink beer

But my wife takes a stand
We have octuplets waiting
And she's outta here

Oh, why did she leave?
I'm stuck here at home
They're whining again

I'm stuck changing diapers
It ruined my plans
What's that--a golden rain?
He peed on me again, like he can

We just didn't know
If we could have any children
Lacked eggs "down there"

Fertility drugs were here
Then we talked to Jesus, praying
And hoping to bare

Oh, first there were three
And then there were four
Then one more again!

I'm stuck changing diapers
It ruined my plans
What's that--a golden rain?
He peed on me again, like he can

I'm stuck changing diapers
Got some on my hand!
Look, there's a dooty stain
Won't wear this shirt again, like I have

Now they cry and they are all teething
Where'd the pin go? the phone rings, you get it!

I'm stuck changing diapers (i'm stuck changing diapers)
Tried all the known brands (tried all the known brands)
I wish I was in Spain
Not stuck here in Fort Wayne, like I am

I'm stuck changing diapers
It ruined my plans
What's that--a golden rain?
He peed on me again, like he can

Not again!