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Song Parodies -> "Undead"

Original Song Title:

"Unwell"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Matchbox Twenty

Parody Song Title:

"Undead"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

All - day
Hiding in my coffin, playing
Goth and death-rock MP3's

All night
Bats and werewolves nagging me
To take them out for drinks
Because it helps them feel alive
Or something

I - meet
Long-neck girls at clubs but they say
Bite - me
That sounds good to me

'Cause I'm not creepy, I'm just a little undead
I know - my lips are stained red
My fangs are too, but just ignore that please
It's only gum disease

I'm not ghostly, I'm just reflection-impaired
I know - right now you look scared
But drink some Red Bull and Type AB
And prowl the night with me

We
Should break in to the blood bank 'cause I
Drank my plasma-screen TV

And I know
I know that blood's my problem but it's
Not that I'm addicted
It's because it feels so good when that stuff hits
Your lips

And self-control is hard I'm only
Nineteen
Centuries old

But I'm not pasty, I'm just a little undead
I know - worms live in my head
And at the beach I have to rub on me
SPF Infinity

I'm not spooky, I'm just existence-impaired
I know - you'd like your neck spared
I'm sorry babe, because your date with me
Will last eternally

I've been craving salty snacks
So listen all you chicks with saline:
Come to my all-night buffet!

I'm not creepy, I'm just a little undead
Don't put - garlic on my bread
I like my steaks bloody as can be
But don't drive one through me

I'm not eerie, I'm just living-impaired
I know - I'm your worst nightmare
But all the cool Transylvanians see
That no one sucks like me

Yeah, no one sucks like me
No one sucks like me
I'm just a little undead
No one sucks like me
(Your name's not Buffy, is it?)
I'm just a little undead
(c) 2006+ Count Spaffula

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   12
 12
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
This one hit me right in the heart with a stake, I'm dieing... of laughter!
Jack Wilson - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL I read this on your site, it rules, I even sang it to myself once,555!
DKTOS? - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Don't Know The Original Song? It's temporarily available at spaff.com/dktos

And thank you, St Matthias & Local Celeb!
Lionel Mertens - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
5's
Inferno714 - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
That was freaking awesome! One of the best parodies I've ever seen! 555!
alvin rhodes - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
beautiful job on this...boy, do i love halloween
Claude Prez - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Awesome
Yoidy - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
This had me cackling like a rabid bat! I like the line, "I'm only 19 centuries old."
AFW - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
right on the money...5's
The Charnstar - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL! I've been reading this on your website for a while now, waiting to give the 5-5-5 deserve... and the time has come... 5-5-5
Kristof Robertson - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Nosferatu-rrific! 555
bobpiecheese - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Now that I'm finally back on the Net, it's good to see a new Spaff parody. Well done, Spaff. The only thing that would've been better is a new Spaff recording...specificaly of this one.
Jack Wilson - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I second Bobpieconquerorofparodies's comment, the recorind part at least! BTW Spaff, did you know that in late 2004 I made a CD with everything thsat wasnt on Elves Gone Wild! on it? Yep sure did, Ive updated it sicne then too, so Im happy to say that I have your tsuff on my Ipod, or ISpaff I should call it, now there's a good one iSpaff
Rex - October 21, 2006 - Report this comment
If you only read one Spaff parody this year... there's something seriously wrong with you. But this one, like the soldier applicant in Men in Black, is the "best of the best of the best, sir!"
2Eagle - October 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Awfully good. Vampires never bother Koreans.
Spaff.com - October 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanx, Lionel & Inferno & Alvin & Claude (Claude?! Is that really you?!) & Yoidy & AFW & Charnstar & Kristof (heh heh)!

Bobpie & Jack: Maybe next year for this one. And there will be a *real* Robert Lund CD coming out in the next few months, so you'll have the opportunity to pay good money for stuff you're currently receiving for free.

Rex: I'm glad you like this better than Spaff's stuff. He's a jerk.

2Eagle: Because of the garlic? Or because of the nukes?
Jack Wilson - October 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Awesome Spaff!
Rex - October 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I hope you know my meaning was "there's something wrong if you only read one Spaff parody -- because you should read them all". And how dare you call Spaff a jerk -- as far as I know he's never prepared a soda.
Spaff.com - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Wrecks: Thanks. I knew what you meant; I was just giving me a hard time. As for the soda comment - see Johnny D's "He Jerks Hard for the Money." If you dare.
Steven Cavanagh - January 02, 2007 - Report this comment
The plasma TV got me. I was waiting for the word "haemophobic" :)
Spaff.com - January 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Stevenagh: Thanx. I was going to praise you for creating the word haemophobia (hemophobia for us Yanks) until I looked it up and found out it's a real condition. Yes, fear of blood. Go figure.
Jack Wilson - October 26, 2009 - Report this comment
This now has an awesome recording
Tim Mayfield - October 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Howling with laughter. This makes Halloween the funniest holiday! Long live the undead! I'd stake a lot that this one really counts. Oh, but about the recording.. the banjo sounds like Kermit the frog's rainbow connection banjo, rather than the Matchbox 20's more metallic-synthesized sounding banjo-esque one.
Spaff.com - October 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Tim and Jackie. Good to hear from you!

Yes, a mere three years later, this parody has been performed and recorded by Moneyshot Cosmonauts. Vocals were done by Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad, and all the music and production were done by Bob Emmet of Project Sisyphus (with the exception of the banjo, which was done by Kermit the Frog). Here's a URL for ya:

http://www.spaff.com/poesy/undead.html
jerry - December 19, 2009 - Report this comment
wow! wheres shirley mcclain when you need her
Spaff.com - February 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Right beside me, of course. She says hi.
white trash - May 10, 2010 - Report this comment
i love Van Helsing, the good doctor who speaks such irritating pidgin English.
Spaff.com - May 14, 2010 - Report this comment
And I would love to play good doctor with Rebecca Pidgeon.

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