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Song Parodies -> "Not My Number"

Original Song Title:

"Makes Me Wonder"

Original Performer:

Maroon 5

Parody Song Title:

"Not My Number"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "United State of Pop" self-challenge. We all have to deal with wrong numbers sometime. This guy seems to get the worst of it, because the universe just hates him, I guess. Enjoy!
I am not a social guy
Facebook's an untouched site
Let alone talk to friends with my
Mobile, it's cobweb-ised
Not a word, I know that
But recently, the fact
"Don't use that phone for crap"
Has been screwed by twats

I'm shocked that there's still people
Who don't know how to dia-ial
What they want is not my number
And when they get me instead, they get crude

Now I twitch when it starts ringin'
Can't have misread 3 for 2, yes, they're sure, they're quite su-u-ure
They all think it must be malicious intent of mine (yeah)
Hang up when they wine

I try to get some sense
Inside of their brainless heads
Seein' as they're brainless
That plan won't work, won't take the hint
They keep callin' me a fool
My fault their dialin' is screwed
Get off the line, you're the douche
Yellin' at random dudes

Surprised at these crazy people
Who call back many ti-imes
Redial still gets you my number
Once again my fault accordin' to you

Still have false hope when it's ringin'
That it isn't one of you angry dorks, ragin' do-o-orks
Maybe I should have one ringtone for contacts
Another ringtone for unknown guys, a-a-ay
Only false hope that that's fixin'
Still have to convince these fools, not a store, not a sto-o-ore
They still demand a manager to have my ass fired ('fraid so)
Of this and more, I'm tired (ti-i-i-i-ired)

My throat's gettin' sore
Each time I hang up
Then bang my head on the doo-oo-oor (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Are their fingers too wide? (oh-oh)
Are they afraid to write (oh-oh)
Down numbers for some stupid reason?

So I'm still stuck with these people
Who don't dare take the ti-i-ime
To make sure they've the right number
Cause as they've yelled at me, they just don't have the time
Who cares if they waste mi-i-ine?

Not again, my phone is ringin'
And the ringtone is "Fuck You!", it's a dork, it's a do-o-ork
I'm gonna leave it ringin' for a minute
Then I'll give them a piece of my mind (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Show off my talent for swearin'
Many synonyms for douche, show that dork, show that do-o-ork
Time's up, it's time to get revenge for my wasted time (let's go)
Yell until they cry-y-y (let's go)
Swear and hope they die-ie-ie (let's go)
Wait, think I recogni-i-ise (that voice)
I-is that my friend Craig? Hi-i-i-i-i!

Add the phrase "malicious intent" to the list of "things I never thought I'd put in a parody yet am really happy that I managed to do so".

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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User Comments

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Peter Andersson - September 01, 2014 - Report this comment
Kudos for working in a hard phrase like that, I once managed to add both "olfactory assault" and "peristaltic retention" to a parody so I know the feeling, kinda the opposite of writer's block gloom!

http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/rainbow0.shtml

Anyway, when I moved to my very first own apartment and signed up for my first own stationary phone (yeah, I'm that old) they gave me a number that had previously belonged to a local veterinary clinic. As a twenty year old man I normally didn't mind being wakened up at four o' clock by a call about someone's pussy needing immediate care and attention - but due to that old number still being scribbled on some local pet owners' short lists I got way more of that than I could stand.
Jonathan - September 01, 2014 - Report this comment
is your number 555? seems right good job on this one and I think I'm gonna have the OS stuck in my head for a few days! :)

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