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Song Parodies -> "Ransom"

Original Song Title:

"Stand Up"

Original Performer:

Ludacris ft. Shawnna

Parody Song Title:

"Ransom"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

When "gimme the cash!!" gets hampered by a little incompetence
Ransom (ah), ransom (yeah)
Ransom (ah), ransom (uh)

I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
Or else I'll do somethin' real bad
I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
Or else I'll do somethin' quite bad

You can't call my bluff so early
Just because my threats are vague as they can be
Bequeath dough or I'll prove I'm real nasty
Remove the cap from your cable fee, ha!
You ain't got nothin' to worry about
Send cash so on Game of Thrones, you won't miss out
Don't laugh at my demands, cause I plan to get reckless:
Post on your Facebook so your girlfriend gets jealous
Or your boyfriend? Both? Neither? Nuts
Had the perfect pictures of my crotch set up, ahh
That's that scuttled, but I'll move on
To makin' puddles of cola on your front lawn
What's wrong? Ain't that enough call to pull (ah)
Out your wallet and make sure it's no longer full (yeah)?
Must be a sadist to allow all this, man (ah)
I'll just have to paint your pants, like this (uh)

I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
Or else I'll prove you sprayed that tan
I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
Or else I'll use your toothbrush, man

Go, have a big laugh, you won't be yuckin'
When right off a bridge, your phone I'll be chuckin'
Wait, shit, you're on the phone right now, that stinks
How dare you screw up the threats I make? Let me think
How 'bout if I find a small bobby pin
Break in through your back door and steal your bins
And then you won't get cash from the recyclin' place
Better pay through the nose 'fore I try that, mate
Might pay more to me than what you would get
From where you can turn in cans for 10 damn cents
I worked really hard on that devilish threat
So stop pokin' holes right through it with logic and sense, ahh
C'mon, it's hard to do this right (ah)
I wrote down around six hundred threats, must find (yeah)
The one there that'll make you fear for your life (ah)
Maybe hack your game system, delete your game file (uh)?

I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
Or else I'll ruin your next LAN
I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
I called you, so you give me cash
Or else I'll eat your last pie, man

Ransom, ransom
Ransom, ransom

Alright, I'll try some other sap in this dumb town
They'll break down and empty their wallets out
I was two tries away from makin' you cough up
Now you're one try away from laughin' your lungs up
One moment, seems you've got somethin' to say (ah)
Say it now cause I'm all out of threats for today (yeah)
You're sayin' this ain't a ransom? Oh geez (ah)
This is blackmail? I see, think they call that the cherry (uh)

I called you, hoped you'd give me cash
I called you, hoped you'd give me cash
I called you, hoped you'd give me cash
But, hell, I really failed at that
I called you, hoped you'd give me cash
I called you, hoped you'd give me cash
I called you, hoped you'd give me cash
Oh well, I'll try some other sap

Blackmail (ah), blackmail (yeah)
Blackmail (ah), blackmail (uh)
Blackmail (for some cash), blackmail (for some cash)
Blackmail (ah), blackmail (uh)

"Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer 'extortion'. The 'X' makes it sound cool." - Bender Bending Rodriguez

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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