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Song Parodies -> "Buying from You"

Original Song Title:

"Lying From You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Linkin Park

Parody Song Title:

"Buying from You"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Does anyone actually like door-to-door salesmen? Like, in concept?
I wish you'd end all the nonsense that you're pitching to me
Don't give a crap but I guess my disgust is not what you see
Want you to end, don't give a shit about the credit I might have
There's a limit to the bullshit that I'll take from you, man, stop
I hope the end of this will still be today 'cause I'm
Sighing in pain, it's true
Where is the end? You've got me trapped in the scene, doubt I'm
Buying your wares from

You (no, don't want your crap now)
This door will look very nice upside your nose (no, don't want your crap now)
But that's not real polite, so I won't slam, I suppose (don't want your crap now)
I still want you to go, just leave me be (no, don't want your crap now)
Yes, all I want you to do is leave

Don't care what you wanna flog to me
I never ordered any condescension, honestly
You can get rid of it and take your ass along with it
Run my own bus'ness so I know what a percentage is
Not gonna meet your quota talking to me, that's right
I think you should vamoose
Can you even see the "no solicitors" plate? Doubt I'm
Buying your wares from

You (no, don't want your crap now)
Insurance or new roof tiles, who cares? I don't (no, don't want your crap now)
Those who ignore door signs to drop a pitch like a load (don't want your crap now)
Are lucky that I don't remove their knees (no, don't want your crap now)
Just take your pamphlets with you or I'll jam your card in you, just leave

I've noticed you're still talking to me
Despite my angry look and threats of violence, so clear to see I'm pissed
There's no-one else that's standing near me
And that's because sensible folks know what this look I have means, I'm pissed
The first thing that I said was "Dude, please
I don't buy anything from door-to-door folks, so you should leave" You missed
The blatant signs so none could blame me
If I then make the choice that my lawnmower needs a good feed, dipshit

You (don't want your crap now)
Had better get on your bike and frigging go (no, don't want your crap now)
It's not worth it to try the other houses here, bro (don't want your crap now)
Don't have my volume low, they can hear me (no, don't want your crap now)
Insulting the pants off you until you just get a clue and leave

"My first job was selling doors, door to door. That's a tough job isn't it? Bing Bong; Hello, can I interest you in a- oh shit, you've got one already haven't you? Well, never mind...” - Bill Bailey

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

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