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Song Parodies -> "Movie Guide"

Original Song Title:

"New Divide"

Original Performer:

Linkin Park

Parody Song Title:

"Movie Guide"

Parody Written by:

Joel Martinez

The Lyrics

TOS was probably the ONLY part of Transformers worth staying for. The rest of the film makes even the worst film of the year oscar-worthy! (except Angels and demons!)
I saw trailers go by, the only part that stunned me
I saw previews go past, as “Where the wild things are”
Right before District 9, maybe on IMDB

And as well, “The Hangover”
Or was it just “Transformers”

So give me popcorn
Add some hot sauce
To make this taste guilty

Like some films for this late 2009

Go on screenplay
Obsessed websites
To check what’s best unseen
Let it serve for love to critics who check by

Not just a movie guide

There are places which like, degrading film rectitude
All won’t compare their minds, to Rotten Tomatoes
Like those grade school tests, below sixties are rotten

Cause their tomato meter
Scores are what they know they’ve earned

So give me a break
Tell me what’s wrong
With all these fans and geeks
Who think Meg Fox, deems all films bona fide

Best HALF STAR out of five

Although box offices surprised
With “Lord of the Rings” and “Dark Knight”
They still forget, the reasons why
Their success made’s too great to hide

It’s not budgets that matter
But the narrative, you tards!

So cut me some slack
With films too long
Or ending with “Movie”

Wasn’t it bad enough with just “Plan 9…”?

Give films a chance
But only those
Which sound labyrinthine

Make sure they’re a classic when seen the first time
Or else it’s the last time

So check the movie guides
Before you watch films twice

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Total Votes: 4

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User Comments

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Christie Marie M - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Very Epic Parody, Joel! I enjoy movies a whole lot! I'd rather go in a movie theater than watch DVD's! However, I still enjoy watching DVD movies as well. This gets two thumbs up for this 555 Star Satire! You just won an Oscar for "Best Written Satire".
Joel Martinez - August 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Christine! I know, when you see movies on DVDs, they're just not the same as they were when they came out in the theater. But still, glad you can parallel the feeling. And if you love movies as much as I do, you should check out rotten tomatoes.com, they have EVERYTHING there!

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