I'm in the lounge when I heard someone scream.
Feeling quite flustered. Was that Colonel Mustard?
In the Hall, I met up with the team.
But I was the last one to arrive at the scene.

(Thought it was all a joke, I thought it was all a joke.)
Everybody nearby has a really close eye on me.
(Thought it was all a joke, I thought it was all a joke.)

[Chorus]
I'm Professor Plum, and I've been accused
In the Billiard Room. A lead pipe was used.
On the carpet is where somebody bled.
This is what I feared: Mustard Man is dead.

What to do when they're accusing you?
Thinking I'm guilty, but I can't prove them wrong
But they attest that this old white-haired guest
Has murdered a man, and planned it all along.

(Thought it was all a joke, I thought it was all a joke.)
All the lights just went out, and another loud shout was heard.
(Thought it was all a joke, I thought it was all a joke.)
And then the lights turned back on, and Mrs. White was gone.

[Chorus]
I'm Professor Plum, and I've been accused
In the Dining Room. Candlestick was used.
All I know is this, I feel quite perplexed.
Two of six are dead. Who will be the next?

Now I'm scared
I may end up dying too.
But I'm scared
That a family will become disapproving of clue.

[Chorus]
I'm Professor Plum, and I've been accused
In the Library. The dagger was used.
I do not like blood, and I own no knife.
This is quite absurd. I took no one's life.

[Chorus]
I'm Professor Plum, and I've been accused
In the Study. The revolver was used.
I'm becoming sick. Can we take a vote?
And pick someone else to be the scapegoat.