It starts with one bag of Doritos
Then it's on to Cheetos and Fritos
Keep tryin' to stay far away from those
Ho's Ho's and Oreos
But I can't
Lunch is a valuable thing
Cheeseburgers and Onion Rings
Stand on the scale at the end of the day
It takes my breath away
I'm so huge
Ya gonna eat that hot dog?
Ya know that I'm a Happy Meal hog
Can't even fit into my own pants
I really shouldn't of had that taco
I kept on eating
And even though I was full
I just ate more
Ice cream, fudge, Capt'n Crunch and Spam
Yeah I tried so hard

I tried so hard to lose some weight
But my rear end keeps getting fatter
When I fall the sidewalk cracks
Yeah my rear end
Keeps getting fatter

Slim Fast
And treadmills
I even tried those
Weight loss pills
My shadow weighs more than a bowling ball
Yeah I'm a tub of lard
Get those jelly donuts away from me
No more BK or KFC
Remembering when I could see my feet
All this because I love to eat
Take Twinkies everywhere I go
Eating's the only thing I know
Keep Milk Duds in my pockets
And it all comes back to
My rear end
My big booty needs to go
No more Crunch bars
Throw out the cake
No more daily trips to Wendy's anymore
Yah I tried so hard

I tried so hard to lose some weight
But my rear end keeps getting fatter
I waddle when I walk down the street
Yeah my rear end
Keeps getting fatter

I've put my trust in food
That's why I've got this gut
And I've got to get rid of my humongous butt
I've put my trust in food
Don't mind the calories
So I'll just throw out
Those weight loss videos

I tried so hard to lose some weight
But my rear end keeps getting fatter
Sat on my cat, now he's flat
Cause my rear end
Keeps getting fatter