Hey there, hey there buddy- come here
And check out this thing
Its got awesome service
And it does everything
Sure, you're phone can go online
And thats alright you see
Now I'd like to show you why
My phones amazing
My phones amazing
My phones amazing
You will be so jealous cause my phones amazing

It plays records
On this brand new app I got today
And when I must miss school, my phone goes and takes my place
It also shows nearby places
Where I can take a pee
Within a five state radius
My phones amazing

When callin'
"Free Fallin'"
Starts to play on the stereo
Every contact has their very own ringtone
When textin'
I'm checkin'
Out things that I want to explore
By flying airplanes with my very own phone

Look at all the cool stuff that I can do with my telephone
he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he
Amazing!
All of this amazing stuff I can do with my telephone
he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he

This is all that I want, I just sold my home
And I'd be lost with no telephone
And I think I'm in love
Cause it's makin' me grub
And I'd be lost with no telephone

I can do what I want but I sold my home
Just to pay for this new telephone
I still go to the club
And the ladies just love
Me, cause I have this new telephone

Lets take another look at my phone
Could be used as a hammer
Makes me run much faster
Even correct my grammar
And when I have my phone alone
It makes me a good dancer
Your phone just has a planner
Mine has the cure for cancer

I'm not trying to show off
I'm just trying to say
That maybe you should get rid of that phone paperweight
You're mad cause you don't have the best phone in creation
It even answers all your calls
My phones amazing
My phones amazing
My phones amazing
It answers all the calls you get cause it's amazing

When callin'
No crawlin'
Around to try and find your phone
It's in my head and attatched to my earlobe
When textin'
I'm deft and
There's no need to talk anymore
I use my hands to talk on my new cell phone

Stop callin'
Stop callin'
You're out of the league of my phone
Why don't you leave and go play with your iPhone?
Stop bawlin'
Stop bawlin'
There's no need to cry anymore
Here, use this tissue that comes from my cell phone

Look at all the cool stuff that I can do with my telephone
he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he
Amazing!
All of this amazing stuff I can do with my telephone
he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he

Complain all you want, it's covered in chrome
And you wish that you had my telephone
Could be used as a club
And can make me a sub
And you wish that you had my telephone

Can survive a flood and can make sheep clones
And you wish that you had my telephone
It can donate my blood
And be used in the tub
And you wish that you had my telephone

My telephone
My awesome telephone
It can make new cologne
And take out student loans
And you wish that you had my telephone

My telephone
My awesome telephone
Why don't you just go home?
And just leave us alone
Cause you wish that you had my telephone