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Song Parodies -> "Eat You Now"

Original Song Title:

"Need You Now"

Original Performer:

Lady Antebellum

Parody Song Title:

"Eat You Now"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Check out the "udderly terrific" (thanks, Jace) recording by Robert Lund - with USDA Prime input from Bob Emmet and Cari Golden.
Happy barnyard memories
Where I raised you from a calf
Skipping through the clover
You would moo and I would laugh
And I cried to think some day you'd pass away
At last today was your big day

It's a quarter after one
Beef is for lunch
And I'll eat you now

Friends like you are rare
Make that medium rare
And I'll eat you now

The best place for cows
Is a slaughterhouse
I'll just eat you now

A pistol to your cranium
Hang you upside down to bleed
Hack your hide and head off
And hooves that you no longer need
And I wonder if you miss the way we played
As I wipe entrails off my blade

It's a quarter after two
Time for barbecue
And I'll eat you now

Bring along the horse
-radish of course
And I'll eat you now

The best use of cows
Is a porterhouse
I'll just eat you now

And I hope your rump won't go straight to my butt

It's a quarter after three
T-bone appetit
And I'll eat you now

You make me warm inside
When your flesh is ground and fried
So I'll eat you now

The best place for cows
Is inside my mouth
I'll just eat you now

Chuck, eye will eat you now
(c) 2010+ Spaffatoir

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan S. - June 04, 2010 - Report this comment
I already herd the recording and downloaded it. BTW, your blunt description of beef (albeit honest) gives me all the more reason to 'steer' clear of it. No ground and fried flesh for me, thanks!
(All joking aside, my body actually can't handle red meat)
Here's 555 butt steaks.
Jeff Reuben - June 04, 2010 - Report this comment
I checked amiright today and there you are...must have been bovine intervention! Hilarious, listening now.
Matthias - June 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Holy cow! Spaff is back with another great one straight off the grill!
Christie Marie M - June 04, 2010 - Report this comment
How appetizing! Coming straght from the slaughterhouse. I usually don't support the slaughtering of animals, but this turned out hilarious. Brilliantly written and awesome punning, especially on the last line! Here's some nice and juicy Grade A Top Choice 5's!

BTW, check out this clip:
Peter Andersson - June 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Betting you sketched something about mammaries in the first line in the first early draft of a parody to this song... :-)
Genius Spotter - June 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Oops! Found anudder!
Jack Wilson - June 06, 2010 - Report this comment
She's bovine, there's no other way to goooooo Anyways awesome parody, hILARIOUS recording as usual!
Jack Wilson - June 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Plus I love burgers, and steak and etc. so this is one ofm y favs of yours! The OS? ... *(sh)udders*
John Jenkins - June 06, 2010 - Report this comment
This is definitely the product of a sick and brilliant mind. Very clever horseradish line.
Phil Alexander - June 07, 2010 - Report this comment
A bit disappointed, TBH.. thought this was going to be about something else completely ;-)
Peter - June 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Great song, now someone just needs to parody that song "According to you" and it will be all good. - June 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Jonathan S & Matthias & Genius Spotter & Johnkins & Peter: Many thanks for the comments and/or puns. I'm glad y'all are Hereford the party.

Jeffaroo: Bovine intervention. Ha. I'm going to steal that.

CMM: That video is a total "Wow, Totally Forked" (WTF).

Peter A: Indeed. "Picture perfect mammaries..."

Jackie: Hate to spoil it for ya, but this isn't exactly bullish on beef.

Philbo: I KNEW I could rope you in with that title.

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