I am watching football
And fall of my dignity
There's lot's of garbage around me
In my backpack, mold is growing

I will never stop playing video games
(don't call me any mean names)
Instead, it's like I'm totally maimed
(but I'm not maimed)
I have lots of stuff to do
But I'm to lazy, and I'm covered in my own drool

I feel the Reeses bar, they rot my teeth
No, not again
I'm not receiving any money
I will not make my bed

All I do is call for you
And you serve me hand and feet

Please tie my shoes, attention, attention!

All day long I watch the tube
For me, it's something I just do
I want more chips
But I don't anything I have to do

I feel the greasy, pizza as I slip on it
No, not again!
I'm covered in oil, so please will you boil
Some eggs: I'm too lazy!