Hey now Larry, you thought it was all fun and games
Runnin' 'round, telling everyone why I'm not at Trixie's
I guess you just had to feel important
And I'm sure you thought I was just gonna sit back and take it on the chin
But honey, I'm a songwriter
And that, asshole, is where you end and this song begins

[Chorus:]
I found someplace new, to drive me crazy
They've got so much more class than y'all got
They call me fat, and say I'm lazy
Now I'm half as sane and twice as hot

Oh I wake up in the morning and rehearse my shows
I obsess about my weight, my makeup, and my clothes
They fuck with my schedule, but I just wanted you to know

[Chorus:]
I found someplace new, to drive me crazy
They've got so much more class than y'all got
They call me fat, and say I'm lazy
And I'm half as sane and twice as hot

I found someplace new, to drive me crazy
They've got so much more class than y'all got
They call me fat, and say I'm lazy
And I'm half as sane and twice as hot

Oh we've got a dress code and there's three directors
We open during lunchtime for the business sector
They make me cry daily but play my indie rock n' roll


I found someplace new, to drive me crazy
They've got so much more class than y'all got
I show up at noon, my mind is hazy
And I'm half as sane and twice as hot

I'm half as sane and twice as hot
She's half as sane and twice as hot