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Song Parodies -> "Behind This Closed Door"

Original Song Title:

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Kelly Clarkson

Parody Song Title:

"Behind This Closed Door"

Parody Written by:

Mr. Twister

The Lyrics

This song is dedicated to the 40-Year-Old Virgin's first time with a woman. It's sung from his point of view, about the last hour of carrying the V-card.
Seems like just yesterday
I was so innocent.
Suffered from loneliness,
But tried to be so strong.
My "muscle" feels so tight
Yet everything feels right
Unstoppable, like nothin' could go wrong
No, I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
I'm not a boy no more
Stuck it in, deep inside
You won't get to see the fun I had
Behind this closed door

I have tried everything
But the V-card stuck with me
And I could barely deal
With the blue balls in my life
Now the big moment came
Full of confusion and shame
So together, but so burning up inside
No, I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
I'm not a boy no more
Stuck it in, deep inside
You won't get to see the fun I had
Behind this closed door

Swallow it, or spit it out
Or hold it in, I just don't care
See me a non-virgin now
No, I can't stop laughing
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
I'm not a boy no more
Stuck it in, deep inside
You won't get to see the fun I had
Behind this closed door

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
I'm not a boy no more
Stuck it in, deep inside
You won't get to see the fun I had
Behind this closed door
And so, the 40-Year-Old Virgin loses his V-card.

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