Seems like just yesterday
I ate so healthily
I used to exercise
I used to be so thin
You won't believe it but
I've gotten quite a gut
Watch it jiggle like Jell-O gelatin

My poor old jeans
Bust at the seams
They're barely hanging on

Here I am once again
In front of the freezers
Can't decide which one to get
Is chocolate chip the one?
Mocha might hit the spot
Regardless by this evening I'll have bought
A pint of Haagen-Dazs

I've tasted every kind
Rocky road, butter pecan
Chocolate peanut butter
Is still on my mind
Now all that's left to say
Is that I love creme brulee
Though vanilla fudge and coconut are fine

Now I can't breathe
In these old jeans
I barely pulled them on

Here I am once again
In front of the freezers
Can't decide which one to get
Is chocolate chip the one?
Mocha might hit the spot
Regardless by this evening I'll have bought
A pint of Haagen-Dazs

Swallowed down a sixteen-ounce
Another's waiting on the shelf
Just eating them, I've gained ten pounds
No, I can't buy
My old waist size
Anymore

Here I am once again
In front of the freezers
Can't decide which one to get
Is chocolate chip the one?
Mocha might hit the spot
Regardless by this evening I'll have bought
A pint of Haagen-Dazs

Here I am once again
In front of the freezers
Can't decide which one to get
Is chocolate chip the one?
Mocha might hit the spot
Regardless by this evening I'll have bought
A pint of Haagen-Dazs